Monday, April 20, 2009

The Sherpas Will Go No Further...

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man...

On the advice of a friend, I recently signed up with yet another online dating site. I'd basically taken a break from dating, wanted to learn more about myself by spending time alone, doing things with myself as my partner, braving the world with only me to rely on. Finally, a few weeks ago, I felt ready to date again. Just date. No destination in mind, enjoying the journey, getting out and meeting new people. Specifically men.

Did I have love in mind? Sure! Who doesn't? Did I want a relationship? Sure! Eventually.

But did I want it now, now, OMG NOW? Not necessarily.

It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity...

Five days after signing up, I opened a new email. The first word in it was Wow. That got my attention. I might've even patted my hair or adjusted my bra. Dunno. I probably wiggled a little. Or at least wagged my tail.

Stop laughing. Something in that Wow spoke to me. Hey. I'm just a girl!

I eagerly read more. I really like your profile and I'm interested in alot of the same things that you are. History, particularly American history, especially the Civil War...

Besides the impressive grammar and the ability to speak in full sentences, I liked that he added "(not a re-enactor)" because that kind of thing just takes interest to a whole 'nother height. 'Nuff said.

It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition...

...If you like what you read (and see) in my profile, maybe we can talk a bit.

I liked the see part. A realistic guy. And a man who obviously liked what HE saw, or else he wouldn't be talking to me via email. Yeah baby. Pump a fist for the old broad. I took a gander.

And liked what I saw! Really liked what I saw. And read too. Yeah, read. Because reading is important, ya know.

and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge...

We arranged a date. It lasted five hours. No more deets for you!

The next day he called and asked me out again. On date two he said he'd been aware of my profile for a while. I asked him why he didn't contact me sooner. He said it's because he thought -- kinda, maybe -- that I might be The Real Thing. Took him a few days to wrap his brain around that.

My first thought upon seeing him was: there's my boyfriend, and, concurrently, something that's better suited for between the sheets of one of my books.

No more deets for you!

This is the dimension of the heart...

We didn't begin this journey with a destination in mind. Just see in each other a good travel companion. And, since the guides have abandoned us, I guess we'll stick together until we reach a sensible stopping point, junction, or, the end of the road.

Who knows? After all...

It is an area we call...

the Love Zone."


Thursday, April 02, 2009

Because Bev Asked

Me and the momster under the dragon at Uwajimaya.

Happy 83rd!


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Come In Here

Ya'll know I'm cheap. I've confessed it ad nauseum before. Part of my cheapness is an outright refusal to pay $100/month for cable TV. It's insane. I won't do it. The only show I watch anyway is Dexter.

Yet, I missed channel surfing on a lazy night and finding a random and interesting show. So, for $8.99/month, enter Netflix. Not only do I get as many movies as I want, I can also watch selected TV shows instantly, on the computer. Here are a few of my latest addictions:

Who else can't get enough of Jim, that irrepressible prankster? Or Michael -- so delusional, so damaged. A man without any emotional boundaries whatsoever. Yet so caring of all his employees...except Toby. Hehe. And Dwight? Has a more richly drawn, odd-without-being-entirely-ludicrous character ever been written or portrayed?

It's one of those shows you can watch over and over and still pick up new stuff. Oh, and laugh til you pee.

Testosterone fumes, ahoy! This show is like crack to me -- to the astonishment of my nearest and dearest. Hey. Why not? Alpha men doing manly things under fierce conditions? What's not to get hot and bothered about?

Edgar Hansen of The Northwestern is a fav. His sarcasm and mischievous, slightly psychotic wit floats my boat. But he's married and thus banned from the crush list. I'm nothing if not practical with my heart -- Jonathan Hillstrand of the Time Bandit owns those rights!

The other day I told the boss of my tiny, three person office that I was gonna write and ask him to help research an erotic romance, with a crabber hero.

"I'll hold your job for you!" she shrieked.

I'd do it, too, if I wasn't sure to be sucking my thumb in a closet at the first howl o' the Bering Sea wind.

This one took a while to start loving, but as the first season progressed and the characterizations deepened -- as well as the satirical laughs -- I got hooked. Besides, it reminded me of those early days in the Belfry, when we'd line up a chat and brainstorm like crazy. Cap't Hillstrand aside, there's nothing like the creative high of a writer's room!

What about you? What are your favorite shows?

Got any cheap addictions?

Labels: , ,

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Seattle Girl's Weekend, 2009

It all began at 5:30 am at Newark International, February 11th, 2009. I'd purchased a non-stop ticket on Alaska Airlines. I always get in to Seattle at 11am PacTime. By noon we're always at Hill Top Ale House.

I cherish this ritual.

When I arrived at the terminal, I went eagerly to the Departures Screen and scanned it for my flight.

USAIR...Flight 1009...SeaTac...Gate 17...Departing 0700...Terminal A
USAIR...Flight 100987...SeaTac...Gate 184...Departing 0701...Terminal M
USAIR...Flight 10098786...SeaTac...Gate 1,947...Departing 0702...Terminal Y
USAIR...Flight 666...Anyone'sGuess...Gate Pi...Departing Never...Terminal Hell

No Alaska Airlines listing. Nada. Zip. Maybe I got off at the wrong terminal. I go outside and check the signs along the Unloading Zone. Sure enough, Alaska Airlines. Go back inside, follow the All Gates arrow while checking every single Departures Screen along the way. No posters, no brochures. Absolutely no indication whatsoever that Alaska Airlines even exists. I check my boarding pass. Yup. Yup. Alaska Airlines.

The TSA Agent assures me I made the right choice by going through his line. But I'm suspicious. Maybe he's a little bored this morning and wants to taunt someone into flipping out. It happens.

I get to the tiny rotunda of gates. There are some small, but significant, signs of life -- a coffee cart, a handful of snorers. Yet, a quick glance around confirms that I'm still deep in USAIR territory...

but wait...a sheet of looseleaf paper taped over a sign at the ticket desk. There's writing on it. Warily, I move closer. The writing says: Alaska Airlines.

Relief washes over me. But where are the planes? I look around at the smattering of people already there. Do they look like eccentric Northwesterners? I'm inspecting for clues when a 200 pound rottweiler bounds over and lays down across from me.

Two men and two women follow him in and sit down. I make eye contact with one of the men. "Does he get his own seat?"

The man smiles and says, "No. He squishes down on the floor."

I nod and glance away as if this happens every day.

A pug trots by.

A woman passes, carrying a little tote. There's something white, fluffy and alive inside.

Yup. Yup. I'm in the right place.

The flight starts boarding. From behind, a wave of tawny hair prances to the front of the line. An Afghan Hound. By now I'm texting the children, and my best girl Megan.

"The rottie snagged a window seat!" I write, to gales of texting laughter. "Must be the Westminster Dog Show," Meg shoots back. Turns out, she's right.

When I finally get to my seat assignment, it's next to a teen plugged into his iPod. Smart guy, I think. This might be a noisy flight. But I was wrong. You could hear a pin drop around these dogs. I snuggle in. There's an empty seat between me and my mate, I got an aisle to stretch my legs. What could be better?

A Giant Schnauzer makes a last minute run for his seat. The doors are sealed.

My teenmate starts singing...


More like howling if you ask me.

I frantically search for another open seat, and text Meg: "Fuck! Now I have to change seats. You know what happens when you change seats -- certain death in the inevitable crash. Fucking airplane singers!"

But we made it in one piece. At 10:45 am we soar over the Cascades under

The bluest skies you've ever seen
In Seattle
And the hills a-greenest green
In Seattle

Every year FabDame and I fight over credit for the first line of that song -- the theme to that old TV series, Here Come The Brides -- because every year we manage to choose the ONE sunny weekend that occurs in Seattle between October and May.

I cherish this ritual.

This year, because she chose the dates, and, of course, because I feel sorry for her because she was sick, I'll let her have credit. But don't tell her! And whatever you do, don't tell her that when I spotted that sparkling, snow-cap of hair in Baggage Claim, I could've fallen to my knees in gratitude.

This trip we did nothing but shop, eat and celebrate. Oh, and snap our yearly pic under the dragon at Uwajimaya.

I cherish this ritual. Here's to many, many more.

Labels: ,

Monday, February 09, 2009

A Celebration!

Last year, we didn't know if we'd have another Seattle Girl's Weekend. But...

She beat the beast within, and this coming weekend, we are going to rock the town!

Watch out Seattle. Here we come!


Monday, February 02, 2009

The Long Awaited, Much Anticipated, RT Review for BONDED!

by Ann Wesley Hardin

RT Rating:
Category: EROTICA
Published: January 2009
Type: Erotic Romance, E-book

When a sassy female challenges an alpha male head-on, he uses subterfuge to win her over in this laugh-out-loud short comedy. The pacing is brisk, the characters appealing and the sex titillating.

Summary: Sela Wilson reluctantly goes on a fantasy weekend with her friends, who immediately find their designated dates. Using the worst possible disguise, Daniel Bond, the billionaire owner of the hotel, substitutes for Sela's gothic date when the missing man calls in sick. Sela dumps her "date," electing to stay in her room for the duration.

Fascinated by the elusive Ms. Wilson, Daniel assumes another disguise in an attempt to charm her. With each costume, he gets closer to her sexually, but he reaches a roadblock when he tries to reveal his true identity. (EREDSAGE.COM, dl $2.99)

—Donna M. Brown

Labels: , , , ,

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Little Stray Puppy

Ok I lied. I do have something to say. So sue me. Ya'll know that the minute I publicly declare myself unavailable, and no one complains, I come back. There's something vaguely sick about that, but we won't go there just yet.


Ever have a stray dog follow you home? Or come out of the grocery store to see a puppy sitting in the passenger seat of your car?

My grandmother got two long terms dogs the same way. Every day she'd take a walk to the post office in Clovis, New Mexico to get her mail. Moochie, a brindle, female mutt with epilepsy, followed her home one day in the...I wanna say early 60s? Not sure when but it was probably the early 70s when she died. Can you help me here oh Fab one?

Within a year, maybe less, Lady, a cocker spaniel mutt -- who also happened to be pregnant as we discovered when she was taken for a hysterectomy -- followed Grandma home from the post office. She died too, as dogs have a tendency to do, but I can't recall when. It was close to ten years later, though. I think...

I've heard stories of dogs literally jumping into open car windows while people sat at red lights. I've also heard the grocery store scenarios. They fascinate me, these tales. Some mysterious force drives them to choose their owners. If they could speak, they probably couldn't explain it. It just is.

Like two horses standing together in a field. They don't say anything to each other. Communication is unnecessary. They just stand there and it's fine.

Or like Denali, The Wonder Dog, making eye contact with me across a crowded kennel and I knew...

I recently made an acquaintance that metaphorically feels like this. Not sure which one of us is the puppy, but, in the end, it doesn't matter. It's a friendship that feels on some level child-like, or animal-like. We seem at peace in each other's air space, just being.

What's up with that?

Have you ever been chosen on instinct? Have you ever done the choosing. On a feeling. A whim? What do you think this force is?

Labels: ,

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy 2009!

Wishing you all the best in the new year!


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas, the whole Christmas Season!

Posted by Picasa


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

As Seen On TV...

My name is Ann and I'm a nostalgic sap.

This is my "new to me" Kirby vac, vintage 1964. Note the rockin' attachments. Please. I paid muy extra for them.

Everything is metal!

So what if the headlight doesn't work. Shiny!

Behold the most giant, vacuum bag of awesome the free world has ever seen! It drives like a Mercedes, costs less than a plastic Dirt Devil from Target, makes me want to wear pearls, heels and a frilly apron, is friendly to the environment, smells like grandma's house...

and, a year from now when you see me out by the dumpster, beating the bag clean, remind me of all this awesomeness.


Labels: , ,