Saturday, July 16, 2005

Never underestimate the importance of a new bathroom

Most people spend a third of their lives in bed. I spend a third of my life on the toilet.

It's a curse that was handed down to all the women through my mother's side. Future curses might include but not be limited to: unbridled burping, phlegm and martyr complexes. But I digress.

A long time ago in a life far, far away, one of my professors in college told the class that someday they would enjoy a good bowel movement more than they enjoyed sex. I laughed at the time, but I'm not laughing now. So a clean, pleasant bathroom is of paramount importance as I head into the second half of my life.

As a result, renovation is the word of the summer here at the homestead. I live in an 11 year-old builder's spec house, so you can imagine what the cheap fixtures have devolved into. *shudder*. Today was potty installation day.

And what a toi-toi it is!

Mega deluxe design - glistening white and comfy - with whisper quiet flushing action. So those multiple overnight forays will go unnoticed by the rest of the slumbering clan.

Maybe I'm turning pathetic, but as I pass through the garage and see the two other potties resting in their boxes, awaiting their turns, I feel happy. There's nothing quite like a new crapper.

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