Sunday, August 14, 2005

Shore Losers

Because of my crazy schedule and two jobs this year there's been little or no time to enjoy a day at the beach. All that was supposed to change today - the alleged first day of the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, Irene had a different plan for us. Bitch.

As T.S.Garp wrote, the Undertoad loomed large today. Before we arrived, it'd taken a total of five lifeguards to pull one little boy out of its sucking mouth. The red flags were being planted as we hiked across the sand, boogie boards in hand. And as we stood calf-deep in the pounding surf, the Undertoad lapped at my ankles, pulling my feet out from under me, upending my children and filling us with the profound respect you can get when you look out at the majesty of the ocean.

Several times today the wall of white water hitting the reef reminded me of the pictures of the Tsunami. At least three lifeguards approached us and reminded us not to go in deeper than a couple of inches. They were frightened, too, and after the morning's events, who could blame them?

So, with a "make dilemmanade" attitude we splashed around in the shallows like toddlers - until the incoming tide burped past us and vomitted all over our beach gear. Our stuff was pretty far up the shore and everyone else in line with us had escaped the wet. This was not the best omen.

However, we decided it was a freak wave and proceeded to dig a moat and a build a seawall around our little campground.

The Undertoad merely laughed. Then pummeled us twice more.

Ah well. At least the drive home was peaceful.

Except for the bladder incident....


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