Saturday, October 08, 2005

Men Don't Leave

Do you all remember that movie? Jessica Lange. 1990.

Since 1996 three important men have left my life. My father, and both my brothers. All three have died.

I'm a private person. I don't enjoy exposing myself on the Internet. But anyone who has read Layover's dedication, and those who know me closely, are aware of these losses.

Today they hit me hard.

There's something about a man's special brand of love that's simply irreplacable. It's what I write about every day. It's what women crave even while they complain that it's somehow not enough. Let me tell you, when it's gone, you realize how 'enough' it was.

But that's not the purpose of this post.

The purpose of this post is to celebrate that kind of love. Not to mourn its absence.

As you all know, I've just submitted a new story to my editor. My younger older brother (follow that?) helped me so much with this book. He was a private pilot and owned the high performance airplane I feature in the story. Through his personal experience, I was able to 'live' what my characters lived. I even flew with him in his plane (though he lived 2,000 miles away) and felt many of the things my heroine felt. My brother read the pertinent passages in the book and approved them before he died. So, completing and submitting that story was a landmark for me. Even though I knew he would never see it.

He showed his support for me in this manner. He supplied the facts I needed. After I sent him the passage, he called me and said, "I liked it. I laughed. It had a cadence."

Cadence.

I embrace that word. It's the best compliment I've ever received.

My writing had a cadence. In effect, it was music to his ears.

He got it.

And that was the thing about him. He always got it.

So today I missed him and his ability to get it.

Men, don't leave!

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