Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Hating the Process

Gah! I'm processing again and I HATE it. I've whined about it before but you all are just going to have to listen again.

The last two weeks have been hell. Dry. Boring. Chewing-off-a-paw with the need to write but having nothing worthy to say because I'm in the mental stage.

I always feel self-indulgent when I'm in it. Like I should just shut up and write. And sometimes I do. But I know that most of the time it's better to wait it out because I've been tapped and need to regenerate.

Don't know if I ever explained my process to ya'll. Stop yawning! I listen to you so you can just sit yourself down and return the favor. If I don't justify myself I'm going to do something I'll regret. Like write a crappy story.

It takes me maybe three months to write or revise a book. Only about a month of that is the actual writing. Often, much of it is editing. But most of it by far is simple thinking. And when I'm done, I'm done.

In this way, I write final drafts the first time out. When I pen the last sentence it goes to Bree the very next day.

Most, if not all, authors can't work this way. They write a first draft and then edit the whole thing. Sometimes several times. It probably takes them about the same amount of time but as a result of the way they process, they don't have the chunks of apparent downtime I have.

It's hard for me to reconcile that part of myself.

I feel guilty. Unproductive. Leach-like. And I can't blame my family for thinking I do nothing all day, because that's what it looks like.

*casts eyes downward*

Hmmm. What's this?



Hey, I might be useless, but at least my breasts look good in the WonderBra!

And that is something to be thankful for. But I still hate my process.


Blogger Kris Starr said...

Here's a spooky fact for you, babe: I do the exact same thing you do. I edit as I go, so while my word count on a normal day may only be 750 words, by God those are going to be the cleanest, sharpest 750 words you've ever seen.

That would be why this NaNo thing is driving me around the bend. I want to fix. It. Now. And I can't. *sigh*

I think I may need to snoop around the Wonderbra racks, meself. I'd like to have traffic-stopping cleavage, too. ;)

November 22, 2005 9:42 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

That's the very reason I don't do NaNo. It would give me hives and I don't need itchy, red floating boobies.

Hie thee to WonderLand. The air is so fresh way up here. Watch out for the nosebleeds though =:0

November 23, 2005 8:40 AM  

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