Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Tap Tap Tap Gah!

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate this wireless keyboard? Had to retype the title of this post four times. Apparently now, besides spacebar lagtime, I also have shift key lagtime.

*eyes power hammer again*

The other day I spoke with the manager of my local indie bookshop and he promised to carry Layover when it comes out--which should be any minute now. I was surprised at how shy I felt asking. I guess on some level I'm still waiting to get the snobby cold-shoulder most romance writers have gotten at some point. But this guy was extremely respectful.

After speaking to him, I snuck over to the miniscule romance section and spotted a Red Sage book. Which is cool. But I'll be insanely proud to be the first EC author in that store!

How about you all. Have any of you approached your local indie shops? If so, what was your experience?

Monday, January 30, 2006

Suicide Bomber Barbie--The Metaphor

Okay, so I'm not really suggesting our daughters should have such a plaything, but in the back of my mind, GI Joe sits.

Along with little green army men, silver six-shooters and ninja swords.

These are/were the toys our little boys cut their teeth on--back in the days when little girls had irons and vaccuum cleaners. Those glorious post-war days when the suburban housewife epitomized womanhood. Nevermind that alcoholism was rampant amongst them. They looked pretty. They fulfilled a man's life. They were Barbie.

Now let's travel back to the time of the Brother's Grimm. Several studies have been done about the role of dark fantasy in children's lives. It's been suggested that these violent fairy tales actually helped children put a name to their fears and gave them tools to overcome adversity. After all, Hansel and Gretel prevailed by killing the witch.

I don't know if it's an urban legend that the song "Ring Around The Rosy" is really about the Black Plague, but I can tell you that shortly after September 11th an understanding teacher pulled me aside and told me that my daughter and her friends were playing a curious game during recess.

Seems two of the girls were the Twin Towers, and two others were the planes. The "planes" would run forward and hit the "towers" and the towers would all fall down.

Wheeee!

So maybe Suicide Bomber Barbie--the metaphor--isn't such a stretch after all. Maybe she'd help children deal with the terrors of the twenty-first century the same way Ring Around The Rosy helped children in the Dark Ages and GI Joe helped boys during Vietnam.

Are you with me?

*listens to echoes in an empty room*

Hello??

You know, when I start blabbing like this it's a good thing. Really. It means my mind is getting recharged and it's almost time to start writing again.

And you thought I was on acid.

Heeheehee

Still, there is one Barbie I really would like to see. Rosie The Riveter Barbie. Now there's a woman we can all relate to!

Mid-Air Collision

Hmmm. Which one of these European airlines has more frequent flyers? Heeheehee. Special thanks to Jaci for forwarding this one!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

We Interrupt This Program...

Although I think it's kinda sad that I could only come up with seven things to share about myself in the previous post, I had to stop thinking to share a snippet of this review of Miss Behavior.

Elizabeth, a reviewer for Fallen Angels, has hit on every aspect of Why I Write and what I endeavor to achieve. And, the "mysterious character" is the hero of my fourth novel--with my editor as we speak. The pleasure I'm feeling right now is almost debilitating! Thank you, Elizabeth!

Ann Wesley Hardin is an excellent author. This I can confide to you after having read three of her books, including this one, all of which have involved flying and airplanes to a large extent-- unsurprising, given Ms Hardin's background in and love of aeronautics. I have thoroughly enjoyed them all. This White Hot Holidays quickie, which covers a time span of approximately twenty four hours or so, is fabulously written, with great attention to detail. Though a fairly short tale, the amount of information and character development that has been packed into it, especially with regards to the time frame of the story, is remarkable. New Years is a slight background theme, but this tale is perfect to read year round. There is within this tale a secondary character who I find to be rather mysterious and would love to know more about; it would be great if Ms Hardin were to write a tale for him of his own. Miss Behavior is a fabulous contemporary novella, and most definitely one I'd advise you to snap up, whether or not you enjoy flight.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Friday of Thirteens

Thirteen Things About Me

(Ed. Note: Hmmpf. I started this list this morning and got so far with it! Gonna turn this into a weekend project and add tidbits as I think of them. Time to go to my real job. Kaching.)

1) I never met a romcom or war movie from the 30s or 40s I didn't like, if not love.
2) My ultimate dream job would've been in the backlot of Warner Brothers, brainstorming Bugs Bunny cartoons.
3) I spent the entire summer of 1976 staying up until 5am just so I could watch every Honeymooners and Burns & Allen episode on TV. (for all you youngsters, there was no such thing as a VCR. Hard to believe I grew up undamaged from that experience. Although that was the year the voices started coming out of my bedroom walls...)
4) The next sport I want to learn is shooting pool.
5) I feel most at home in Europe, specifically England or Switzerland.
6) I don't believe communication ends with death.
7) I do believe animals are much smarter than they've let on.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Long and Whine-ding Road

The blogosphere is teeming with authors describing their personal roads to publishing success. Most of those authors doing the describing have finally hit in NY and that's great. I know them and I love them. But NY isn't necessarily my dream. My dream is to be the author who puts Ellora's Cave on the NYT Bestseller List.

That's right.

I'm that conceited.

Or deluded.

But whatever. Being conceited and deluded got me published to begin with. Why stop now? It worked! And now you know what my secret fantasy is. But like the Barbie rant, that's best left for another day. (God I wish I could think linearly and not digress so much, but hey, this is a blog, not a book).

Anyhow, for what it's worth, here's my path to publication:

1983: Armed with a University degree in Anthropology and uncountable Janet Dailys and Nora Roberts on my bookshelf, I write my first Harlequin romcom. I spend untold hours at the copy machine--more hours than I spent typing--and mail it off. Reject.

1983: Undaunted, I write another one. This one is darker. Almost gothic. I carefully compose my cover letter "To Whom It May Concern" and send it off. The cover letter took more time than the editing of the book. Reject.

1984: Decide to put writing romances off until I'm forty. I need to live and get a "real" degree, so I can support myself like my father said.

1987: Graduate with a diploma in the Earth Sciences.

1987-1999: Work in landfills, get married and raise family.

Sometime 1999: Been subsisting on newspaper-editorial-writing to calm the writerly demons. I finally run into Karen, a feelance writer, in my fencing class. She asks to see a humorous article I submitted to the local paper. After reading said article she says: You're a good writer. Let's write a romance novel together. I say: Sure!

Late 1999: Karen is so busy with her freelance writing she doesn't have the time to devote to the Totally Awesome Book we wrote together (really, it is an awesome book). I decide to fill my free time with a book on my own.

November 2000: submit synopsis to Harlequin Duets.

One week later: get request for three chapters.

Two weeks later: get request for full. Can you say "high"?

November 2001: no word from Harlequin Duets. Submit said book to a big NY agent. One month later get a glowing rejection. She praises my voice to the high heavens. But, well, this didn't work, and this...Whatever. It's enough to keep me going a long time. Voice is a BIG thing!

Late 2002: rejection from Harlequin Duets. BUT, it's a *good* rejection. It has revision potential. By now, I'm The Bat Dame on eHarlequin.com and I have an arsenal of critique partners such as the world has never seen--though none of us know it yet. I've also written two more books (rejected) and am about to start the fourth (Layover).

Early 2003: Many of the articles I read on craft-of-writing and story structure are starting to gel. I can feel the knowledge solidifying in my writing. Finally, I'm getting it. And the *voice* from the first book is still there, only it's more...dare I say...mature. I wouldn't have called it that at the time, but I can say that now, in retrospect.

Spring 2003: receive high, but not finalling, numbers in the Molly. Again my voice is praised. The judges both mention how it elevates an otherwise humdrum story. I cherish that nugget and it drives me forward.

Summer 2003: get a revision request on Layover. Assemble The Bats for a brainstorming session. They hit me hard. I mean HARD. I'm wasted. But I do what they say. Resubmit.

Fall 2003: another rejection/revision from Harlequin for Layover. My sails flap and hit the deck. Yet, I know the story is good. I've been told by people I trust. I'm on the cusp. I am. I am!

Spring 2004: Bad time in my life. I'm running out of steam. But the Lori Foster Brava Novella contest is gearing up and I have this other story--an offshoot of Layover. I have ten pages. I submit the first three.

On a wing and a prayer, I submit Layover to Ellora's Cave. A year ago Jaci Burton, one of my talented, steadfast friends from eHar, had signed on with them and I was growing jealous of the creative freedom she described there. They were quickly becoming my target publisher.

Summer 2004: I'm a Brava Novella contest finalist! I can't believe it! It might be one of the most sought after titles ever and I'm there! Now I KNOW I'll sell someday... Someday. But when?

Early Fall 2004: Ellora's Cave has not responded. I call Jaci. What should I do? She tells me to write to the editor I submitted to. I do and immediately get a request to resubmit the lost partial, followed quickly by a request for the full manuscript. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Late Fall 2004: Checking email for the next-to-last-time the night of November 18th. Ellora's Cave wants to know if I'd be willing to revise Layover. I say "of course"--because I'm the consumate professional-- and give an example of where and how. Then I go off to shower feeling like the eternal bridesmaid. What is it with revisions?? Are they my fate?

Get out of the shower. See new email. Check it.

It's a contract.

A contract.

And a "welcome to Ellora's Cave".

I back away from the computer, hand to chest (no kidding). No way am I seeing what I think I'm seeing.

Geez, this part of the story never fails to make me weepy.

*swipes tears*

I go to the top of the stairs (my office is upstairs) and I scream, "I'm an author!"

So there you have it. Now on to the NYT Bestseller List! Oh, and Hollywood too *gg*

Barbiefication

Just remembered something funny.

Whenever I meet new people and get introduced as an "author" (curiously, I never tell new people this when I'm alone. I tell them I'm a cashier at a car dealership. It's the others that *out me*) whomever I'm meeting assumes I write Children's Books.

Have any of you out there run into this?

It makes me wonder. Do I look like a Children's Book Author? Is it because of my age? My gender? Do I have an air of purity that precludes the kind of thing I really write?

It makes me feel so Barbie.

After all, even though Mattel has done a pregnant Barbie, in general, her professions are innocent and have something to do with kids or healthcare. You never see "Enron Barbie" or "Urologist Barbie with Turn-Your-Head-and-Cough-Ken" or, Allah forbid, "Suicide Bomber Barbie". Yet, maybe you should.

But that's a whole nother post.

So, when I tell them what I really write, they're a little surprised. But I have to say I've only gotten positive vibes so far.

What about you?

Rumors of My Dearth Were Highly Exaggerated

More than the "romance is just porn for women" (as if it's somehow worse than porn for men) the rumor that "all romance books are alike" gets to me. I guess everyone has a threshold for rude ignorance and that's mine. Because I can twitter at the porn thing--make fun of it and waggle my eyebrows--but I can't abide anyone thinking that I, as a writer, merely recycle books by changing the names.

That hits low and deep. Penning porn is still writing, after all. But the "all romances are alike" implies sloth, lack of creativity, and at it's worse, plagiarism. And what follows those ugly heels is the tacit implication that the majority of the reading public not only accepts such lazy--if not criminal--behavior among authors, but also supports and lauds it.

Talk about a global insult.

You don't hear people going around accusing George Lucas of such nonsense. Yet if you wanted to, you could argue that Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark are the same movie. You could also throw in Mission Impossible, Independence Day and Schindler's List if you wanted to get technical. Hell, you could mention every single action/adventure, Western and man-against-the-machine flick ever made.

It's the tired, old seven-plots issue--that there are really only seven plots and every single story is based on one of them.

But it's the stories that are different. The stories.

And while all romances may have the same boy-meets-girl plot, the stories are every bit as different as Star Wars is from Schindler's List.

If people would only take a minute to evaluate, perhaps *gasp* think for themselves, they'd realize it.

Stop with the inane rumors, already. They're highly exaggerated!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Author, author! Announcement from EC!

Ellora's Cave will be starting a small erotica line (name tbd)!

This will be within the EC imprint, not a separate imprint or website. On our EC site, there will eventually be a link to a page for this new line, and that page will include an explanation of the difference between erotic romance and erotica.

We are accepting submissions as of now. Please spread the word outside, to any author loops you are on and to your writer friends, writer organization members, and so forth. Outside submissions follow our standard procedure, which can be found on our EC website; the submission goes to Submissions@... and the subject line should note that it is erotica.

Guidelines:
- Same length categories as EC
- Any genre
- Doesn't have to be a "romance" - that is, does not have to focus on the development of a romantic relationship, h/h don't have to be sexually faithful to each other, does not need the committed HEA ending.
- Sexual content follows pretty much the same rules as EC. Same taboo
list. Definitely no porn.
- Has to be well-written and with a well-developed plot and
characterization!

Totally Boring Unfunny Post

So, working and all sorts of other crap have interfered with my blogging lately. Tell it to stop!

Just when all the mundane chores were behind me, when I thought at last I could sit down and drink a cup of creative juice, 1-800-CONTACTS grabbed me by the balls.

(note to self: find out the female equivalent. Grabbing me by the labia just doesn't have the same cachet)

I'm on my last set of two-week-disposables and they don't have my prescription on file anymore. When I finally mustered the energy to let my fingers do the walking for the number of my optometrist, I find out they don't open until ten o'clock. By then I'm supposed to be on the couch for my nap! I'm a creature of habit! Don't mess with it.

*sigh*

And yeah, on a Really Good Writing Day, I'm done by ten. Tapped out--literally. I haven't had many of those lately, but still. When you're up at five everyday, ten is the optimal napping hour. Because then by eleven-thirty, you're ready to edit the slop and prepare for the next day's writing. Or to even write more!

So I decided to blog until ten and go from there.

*checks watch*

Nine-forty-five.

Ah hell. I'll shower for the last fifteen minutes. Then I'll be squeaky clean for my snooze.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

It Had To Be Him!

For those of you who've read my parody, Lord of The Smokerings, you'll know I'm not overly pleased at this moment. I'll try the test again tomorrow. Maybe I'll be Obi Wan or Han (at the very least) by then. Although with my luck, I'll be an Ork.

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?



Putting your appointed path ahead of any inner conflicts, you make your own rules for the benefit of all. If my life or death I can protect you, I will. Aragorn is a character in the Middle-Earth universe. There is a description of him at TheOneRing.net.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Romance Novel Cover Generator

This was too good to resist...heeheeheehee


Posted by Picasa

Romance Cover Generator

Friday, January 20, 2006

First Sale, Second Sale, Third Sale... Fourth?

Been talkin' to my chums about subsequent sales. Some of us still have only one under our belts, some have a half dozen. I'm working on my fourth and one dear friend just made her first, while another just made her second.

All of us at different junctures, yet I think we can all agree. That first sale is unbeatable. We did it! We scaled the peak and lived to inhale the clean, fresh air. We looked out over the world at a limitless horizon, full of possiblity and beginnings...

Huzzah!

But, um, now we have to get down.

And return to real life. And, well, survive.

So, when the second sale happens, survival is that much closer--if it happens.

What if it doesn't?

And what if it does but no third sale, or no fourth? What if one, or *gasp* two, is as good as it gets? What if three is as good as it gets?

You can see how it never ends.

But at least now, and always and forever, I and many of my stalwart brethren can say "I'm multipublished".

And that is a really, really good thing to be able to say.

The first sale can be an accident. Or a culmination of all the marketing knowledge you attain as you quest. Or, can simply mean you wrote one damn book that your editors or agents managed to sell to someone. That first sale is more like a successful first date--a good time but with no real meaning for the future. Unless you're Harper Lee, the subsequent sales are what establish you as a writer.

They're the ones that hit your heart and settle into your soul. They give you peace. Even if you never sell another, you were indeed a successful writer--at least at one time in your life.

What about you? Do you feel successful? If so, how many sales did it take for you to feel that way?

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Blogthing Part Deux--What Age Do You Act?

Didn't see this one coming, but who am I to argue? Blogthing is, afterall, infallible!




You Are 28 Years Old




20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.





Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Does Size Matter?

Yesterday, while discussing writing with some Belfrites, I said something about myself I'd never known before. No one could've been more surprised!

I told them, "It takes me 1-3 months to process a book--no matter the word count. It's still a whole story."

After I blurted that out, I began to think about it. And found it was true. It takes me the same amount of time to write a 15k book as it does a 50k book.

What a revelation!

Seriously.

Kind of a depressing one, as sometimes I'd love to be able to whip out a short. Some of my friends can do one in two weeks. And maybe someday I'll get there. But I have to accept that for now, this is the way it works.

But why? It didn't seem to make any sense until I realized a story arc is a story arc no matter how big or how little. Word count comes from the story, not the other way around. Once I know the story (and this is what takes the biggest chunk of my brain capacity) the words take care of themselves quickly.

And in many ways, writing a complete story in claustrophobic word count is harder, because each and every word has to pay not only full admission price, but a handling fee as well. In a larger work you can throw in some discounted words every now and then if it gets a laugh or expands on character arc a little. But not with a short.

When I handed in Miss Behavior it was 300 words over maximum. A first for me! While writing it I had considered making it into a novella instead of a Quickie because I worried the story was too big for such measly word count. Now I had to cut some more.

In taking a good, hard look at the ms, I started slashing one word at a time--an adverb here, a redundant sentence there. And as tight as the story already was, I was amazed to find those three hundred discount words fairly easily and remove them with absolutely no impact on the story.

A story is a story. The architecture of a tiki hut is the same as a cathedral. But most people can construct their tiki huts in alot less time! I have to go back and study physics each time I start building.

What about you? Can you write a short story in less time, or is your process the same as mine?

Does size matter?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Today's Cheat

Yeah, yeah. Well YOU try blogging while

1)starting a new novel
2)grocery shopping
3)eye examinations and
4)rebate-form-filling are on today's to-do-list!




Your Birthdate: January 11



Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world.

You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.

Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.

Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.



Your strength: Your inner peace



Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds



Your power color: Emerald



Your power symbol: Leaf



Your power month: November



I especially like the "brilliant" part *gg*

Monday, January 16, 2006

By Popular Demand!


My Closet! (crown molding, new lighting and some drawer runners not installed yet)

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Zen and The Art of Housekeeping

Just when I think I'm so tired and depressed, that life isn't worth living and I might as well open a vein, the house gets clean and I discover my joi de vivre once again.

What is it about a dirty house that sucks the life out of you? Does it make you feel as if you're dirty and unlivable?

Filthy, cluttered closets do the same thing.

So you can imagine how happy I am right now with my new closet.

As part of our massive household renovations, we installed wood flooring and furniture-like fixtures in my 10x7 closet. Every time I go in there I feel like I'm in a luxury department store. I feel happy and important. Peaceful, actually.

Previously, the wire racks and crap all over the floor had resembled a landfill and made me feel trashy about myself, my wonderful new clothes and life in general.

Back in the olden days, even the poorest of poor kept their stoops clean, and swept the street in front of their tenements. I imagine they also kept the insides of their fourth-floor-walkups clean too. It was a matter of pride, and I also think, a way to feel good about themselves.

I've never been a neat freak, and I hate housecleaning with a passion most reserve for Satan himself. But I can't help remembering the old adage: Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

I think I know what it means now.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Sex and The Wireless Keyboard

I've recently moved my laptop from the cushy chair downstairs in the living room back to my upstairs office in an attempt to feel more professional about my writing, clear the downstairs area and exercise my ass once in a while.

I have an old, Steelcase desk that was made in the days before ergonomics, and I immediately started getting a spasm between my shoulder blades from the long hours I spend staring at the screen and tapping the mousepad. In a brilliant stroke, I decided to buy a wireless mouse and keyboard to alleviate the trouble.

I'm typing on it right now.

Do you see the spaces between the words?

Good.

Because those spaces are the result of 50,000 hits on the backspace key.

In a word, this keyboard SUX BLUE MONKEY BALLS AND I HATE IT.

All my love scenes look like this: ndthen he sa;d, "Ilove yourass." And shereplied, "Noshitsher;lock."

*bangs headon keyboard andsearchesfor pistol*

As if the spacebar lagtime isn't insult enough, the mouse squeaks like a...mouse. And I paid sixty bucks for this torture!

*deep breath*

I went to my chiropractor the other day--after purchasing this lovely two-for-one-deal. He's a closet geek and besides giving me all sorts of wonderful, pirated software, he gave me this belated advice: For someone who types as much as you do, the wireless keyboard won't work. In tow hours you'll be throwing it out you r window.

*squeak* *squeak* *squeak*

Well, it's been six days and it isn't out the window yet. But do you remember that scene in Jaws when Quint hears the first click on his fishing rod? Great scene. His sidewise glance says it all.

That's how I'm eyeing the power-hammer we've been using to install wood flooring.

Take my advice. Spend your hard-earned sixty royalties on an ergonomic, plastic rolling desk at Staples. *squeak* Or throw it at your chiropractor and help him send his kid to college.

Butdon't buy a wireless keyboard. YOur sex scenes will really suffer.

Labels:

Thursday, January 12, 2006

*Chew* *Gnaw* *Chew*

Diana Peterfreund had a hilarious blog post the other day about her thoughts as she read over her galley proof.

Basically, her thoughts went something like this:

I'm brilliant
I suck
Oh what an incredible sentence!
Why the hell did I write that drivel?
I'm brilliant
I suck...

You get the idea.

I had one of those days today as I stupidly went back and re-read Out Of This World. Historically, whenever I do this the book sucks. It always starts out brilliant but devolves steadily the further into it I get. So, why do I do it to myself? Just another of life's many unanswerable questions.

However, at least I have the comfort of knowing that once this hellish psychle begins, the book is done. I'll have to add some detail to a couple of the love scenes if it gets contracted and of course there'll be the usual editing chores, but the mere fact that I know I suck tells me the story is told completely.

It's a wonder we writers can appear so normal in public.

*chew* *gnaw* *chew*

And how was your day?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Grand Re-opening!

*rousing cheer*

It's done! It's done and sent. And on my birthday no less!

I think this is the first time I've submitted a book on my birthday. The only better gift would be a contract for it, but I ain't in the mood to quibble. Forty-five, with three books under my belt and another in evaluation makes me feel pretty darn good about life.

*lifts a mug-o-imaginary-beer*

Technically, I should be chewing my paw, but not today.

*deep, contented sigh*

Finally, I can play!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Still Closed But Had to Share These Reviews!

Title: White Hot Holidays: Miss Behavior
Author: Ann Wesley Hardin
Publisher: Ellora’s Cave Publishing
Publisher URL: www.ellorascave.com
ISBN: 1-4199-0449-3
Reviewer: Anya Khan
Rating: 4 Stars
Heat level: H

I enjoyed Lorna's character as she rationalized her behavior and her life. She knows what she has given up, and appreciates what she is about to have. When she and Gage meet though, their chemistry is off the chart and makes the communication and interaction interesting. The sex is great from the first wistful glance. I loved how they are as a couple and with the cute plot Lorna and Gage really move the story. What really impressed me was Ms. Hardin's ability to make this short story believable. While the sex is scorching hot and I could vividly picture the two, the story's flow and realism made it a wonderful read. For a quick trip into a Christmas "Quickie" Miss Behavior is great.

MISS BEHAVIOR
ANN WESLEY HARDIN
ISBN # 1-4199-0449-3
December 2005
Ellora’s Cave Publishing
www.ellorascave.com
E-book
$2.99
57 pages
Contemporary
Rating: 4 cups

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I liked how the author unwound Lorna and how she wrote Gage. Opposite worlds and passions colliding here hit you with the same intensity as the plane crash that changed their lives forever. The hot hunger between the two is enough to melt a swath of snow acres wide. This is a quick read, but the author does a fantastic job of capturing their transformations in just that short amount of time. This one is definitely worth the read.

Charissa
Reviewer for Karen Find Out About New Books
Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Closed a Few More Days

But until the grand re-opening, here's a joke:

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy,
Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all
the other kids could only count to four, but I counted
to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the
alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say
it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F,
G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class
today, and when we showered, all the other girls had
flat chests, but I have these!" lifting her tank top
to reveal a wonderful pair of C-cuppers.

"Errm, very good, dear," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24...."

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Until I Get My Head Outta My A$$

This blog is closed. See you when the book is done!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

First Sale, Second Sale, Third Sale, Fourth!

Been talkin' to my chums about subsequent sales. Some of us still have only one under our belts, some have a half dozen. I'm working on my fourth and one dear friend just made her first, while another just made her second.

All of us at different junctures, yet I think we can all agree. That first sale is unbeatable. We did it! We scaled the peak and lived to inhale the clean, fresh air. We looked out over the world at a limitless horizon, full of possiblity and beginnings...

Huzzah!

But, um, now we have to get down.

And return to real life. And, well, survive.

So, when the second sale happens, survival is that much closer--if it happens.

What if it doesn't?

And what if it does but no third sale, or no fourth? What if one, or *gasp* two, is as good as it gets? What if three is as good as it gets?

You can see how it never ends.

But at least now, and always and forever, I and many of my stalwart brethren can say "I'm multipublished".

And that is a really, really good thing to be able to say.

The first sale can be an accident. Or a culmination of all the marketing knowledge you attain as you quest. Or, can simply mean you wrote one damn book that your editors or agents managed to sell to someone. That first sale is more like a successful first date--a good time but with no real meaning for the future. Unless you're Harper Lee, the subsequent sales are what establish you as a writer.

They're the ones that hit your heart and settle into your soul. They give you peace. Even if you never sell another, you were indeed a successful writer--at least at one time in your life.

What about you? Do you feel successful? If so, how many sales did it take for you to feel that way?

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Monday, January 02, 2006

Happity, Tappity, Plop!

THE HOUSE WILL BE EMPTY TOMORROW AFTER TEN LOOOONG FREAKIN' DAYS!!

*maniacal laughter*

IneedmyspaceIneedmyspaceIneedmyspace

The good part is, giving up smoking has been far easier and has made me far less crabby than giving up my freedom. Of course, it's only day two.

My plans for tomorrow include: writing and napping. Then maybe I'll write and nap. Got to go to the bank, and then more napping. Get up, make dinner, go back to bed.

It's going to be so great.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Spectacular! Colossal! Gargantuan!

It grabs you by the throat and never lets go!

See King Kong.

Although a little bored by the slow set-up, I haven't enjoyed a movie so much in decades. You'll laugh! You'll cry. You'll pee your pants in fright. I can't tell you how many times I curled up in my seat, flinching and covering my eyes. The action is so unremitting I felt like screaming, "Stop! I need a break!"

Kong is the quintessential alpha male. The love story is heartrending and believable. Yes, I know. But trust me on this. He never broke character and became more than an ape, yet, he did. Movie magic at its best.

This is everything a movie should be. Don't miss it on the big screen. Just....don't!