Saturday, June 03, 2006

On The Joys of Having Intellectual Friends

Author and Voice Artist Joanna Sandsmark posted this note on one of my loops a little while ago:

So I'm doing a little editing and I need a good way to say, er, sexual
intercourse, that fits the attitude of my h at that moment. "Roll in
the hay" reminds me too much of Young Frankenstein, besides being way
too old-fashioned, but I want it to be casual-sounding and purely
physical (without using the F word, which is a tad too crude). Not sure
why my mind is so blank other than it's still early for me. So I decide
to go to the Miriam-Webster online thesaurus to see if they have any
good suggestions. Not expecting much, but one never knows.

This is their definition:

sexual union involving penetration of the vagina by the penis < many
people believe that it's best to wait to experience sexual intercourse
until you're mature enough to handle it >

They don't just give you the definition -- they give you a lesson in
morals, as well! Is waiting for maturity part of the definition? Is it
a synonym? Did they get some parent or religious group breathing down
their neck because someone's little darling looking up the phrase and
learned how it was done, but not that they shouldn't do it until
they're older? Why is the dictionary giving moral lessons along with

I found this so odd.

And the worst part is that I never found any good synonyms.

In response
, Aspiring Author and Academic Bronwyn Parry wrote:

Not only odd, but ineffective. How many teenagers are going to be put off by that statement? None.

Nope, they could have done it far more effectively using proper dictionary style ;-)

sexual intercourse (n.) sexual union involving penetration of the vagina by the penis see also juvenile sexual intercourse

juvenile sexual intercourse (n.) sexual union of teenagers involving penetration of the vagina by the penis, often resulting in any or all of (cf.) embarrassment, erectile dysfunction, chafing, disillusionment, strange rashes, pregnancy, bastard (fig.), bastard (literal), cessation of the relationship, and only occasionally in male orgasm (female orgasm is not relevant in the context of this usage), or pleasure.

See, that'd do it. No opinions, no moralising, just definitions and fact ;-)

*Ed note: I wonder what the definition of Pissing Myself would be.


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