Friday, June 16, 2006


In 1982 I bought my first pair of black Ray-Ban Wayfarers. Even though we didn't have this phrase back then, they were da bomb in every sense of the word. Totally glam and mysterioso--harking back to the Audrey days of old Hollywood--and I felt a delirious sense of drama whenever I put them on. Which was all the time. Hey, I've got sensitive eyes--a blue so pale that from certain angles it's almost clear.

Anyway. Fast forward a decade. My beloved Wayfarers break. Unable to live without--not them--but the mystique I imagined I had when wearing them, I hightailed it to the mall to buy another pair.

For a few minutes I fantasized about owning the tortoise shell ones. But at the time, tortoise was outre and black was still da bomb, so I caved to convention. Eighty bucks worth of convention to be exact. You think that's alot of money today, imagine how much it was fourteen years ago.

But I was worth it.

Two weeks later I went skiing. In the lunch line in the lodge, I swept my glam, mysterious Ray-Bans atop my head like a headband. They promptly kept the other side of my head...and down. Down...


Guess what? Polycarbonate isn't unbreakable.

I was so bereft I swore off expensive sunglasses for the next fourteen years. Which brings us to today.

In the last decade-and-a-half I've probably bought at least twenty five pairs of sunglasses at ten-fifteen bucks a pop. Some have come unhinged, some have been dismembered, some have split at the nosepiece, and, most recently, some have actually peeled and shed their mock-turtle exterior. Never once have I dropped or mistreated any of these cheap pieces-o-crap. But they broke anyway.

Today I realized I've guarded my precious eyesight with unmitigated, unglamorous shit that neither improved my mood or my image, and spent a helluva lot more money than if I'd trotted my ass back to the store fourteen years ago, swallowed my fear and bought another pair of Ray-Bans.

So thatsawhatIma gonna do.

And this time, I'm goin' for the tortoise! What do you think?

A)Tortoise with gray/green lenses (a sixty-year classic)

B) or *NEW* tortoise with amber lenses (twenty bucks more)


Blogger Rae said...

I like the NEW ones. =)

Goffer it

June 16, 2006 3:39 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

I like the ones with the amber lenses *G* Enjoy Ann!

June 16, 2006 10:08 PM  
Anonymous Kris Starr said...

I like the amber-lensed ones better.

Agree with you, too, Ann -- what's the point of protecting your eyes with pieces of crap that fall apart if you sneeze on them? (Says she who owns two pair of said crappy shades..)

Someday, when I've got some extra cash, I'll splurge on some proper sunglasses, too... :)

June 17, 2006 7:12 AM  
Anonymous Mom - no really! said...

Amber is cool! BTW - Hi! I've not been getting your emails but I love you anyway- dear old MOM.

June 17, 2006 11:49 AM  
Blogger Lyn Cash said...

EVERYONE should own at least one pair of those at some point in their life. Mine were black frames, amber tint. *sigh* Then a friend whose dad owns an optical shop gave me a pair of Calvin Klein sunglasses. Same knock-off at $5 at the local dollar store, but it was nice to "know" what sat on my nose. tee-hee.

Ray Bans, Calvin Klein = big bucks

Feeling like a million bucks even if you're the only person who knows your secret = priceless.

June 25, 2006 4:44 PM  

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