Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween Horrors

So I left Mom at the airport after a wonderful visit and battled the freakin' Newark highway network to get home for the Halloween festivities. During the drive, I had alot of time to think, and that's always a dangerous thing.

Life takes a notable turn when your mommy is in her eighties and the sun is over the yardarm for you in your forties. Based on family history, I have fifteen years left with her. But realistically, anything could happen at this point, and over the last ten years with the loss of my father and two brothers, that fact has been a painful lesson.

I guess what's bothering me right now is there's a clear and present limit. A timeline, if you will. She sort of brought it home when she mentioned that she'd had to take out a fifteen-year loan on her condo and didn't know if she would live long enough to pay it back. There was no drama in her statement. No guilt trip. Just the facts, Ma'am. But she did say that thought made her stop and think. Really think.

It did me too.

Nobody gets out of here alive. We've all faced that in varying degrees. Some wish they knew when they would go, some don't. But I realized today, I will definitely be losing my mommy within fifteen years--give or take a few and barring accidents. I see her twice a year on average, so that means thirty (+-) more visits.

So, my choice is now, how am I going to spend those visits with her?

Can anyone say Par-taaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy??

Happy Halloween. Really. Have a happy one. Have many happy ones. This is all there is, so keep on dancing!

5 Comments:

Anonymous Heather Rae Scott said...

The other post moved, so I'll comment and say you are absolutely right. Dance, Dance, Dance!

November 01, 2006 11:16 AM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

*tapping feet*

I removed the other post for privacy issues. It looks like the parents and the girl are working things out. Phew!

November 01, 2006 3:35 PM  
Anonymous Bron said...

Re your other post, Ann - FWIW, when I worked at a youth refuge, our standard procedure when a kid showed up was to hear their story, let them know it was okay to stay a night for 'time out', but that their parents would be informed. The kids were also told that we had rules at the Ref, that they shared the chores, and were expected to do them - ie, this wasn't a holiday ;-) Speaking to the parents usually filled out the story - not always nicely. Depending upon the circs, we usually had a mediated family conference the next day.

So, yes, sounds like you did the right thing, and I hope things work out with the girl and her parents.

November 01, 2006 3:56 PM  
Anonymous Unk said...

Hmmm. I guess I missed a post. I rarely see either one of my parents because well... They suck.

But IF they didn't suck, I would just want to visit them with NO pressure.

I have a couple of older friends with kids my age and these poor souls are always under PRESSURE from their kids... Money, advice, yada yada yada.

It would seem to me that at some point in your life, you EARN the right to NOT KEEP GOING THROUGH THAT PRESSURE.

Or is it STRESS?

Unk

November 01, 2006 6:12 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Thanks, Bron! This was a brand new situation for me. I'll be better prepared next time. The guidance counsellor told me she had a few more kids to throw my way if I wanted--aaaaahhhh! Then she laughed.

Unk, some kids just never grow up. I don't know if the parents enable them, or if it's some sort of personality disorder *gg*. As for your parents sucking, I bet it's safe to say about 95% of all artists sprang from the loins of sucky people. In a twisted way, it's something to be thankful for--especially if you can make buckoo bucks (as you did!) from it.

November 02, 2006 7:13 AM  

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