Sunday, November 26, 2006

Keeping Satan's Playground Safe...

My family likes road trips. We enjoy the journey almost as much as the arrival and over the years have noticed each trip takes on a theme.

In 1996, when the girls were three and five, the drive from PA to NM was the Buckwheat Zydeco Choo Choo Boogaloo trip. If you've never heard Choo Choo Boogaloo, you haven't lived. Crank the music, roll down the windows and head across the Great Plains on Route 66. Ain't nuthin' better.

In 1998 the drive out to Kansas City was the Beach Boys trip. We sang all the way there and when we got there, my sister's kids wanted the Beach Boys too, whenever they rode with us. I can't listen to them today without reliving that trip and looking out over the mighty Mississip or standing at the beginning of the Oregon Trail. Great memories.

So, we just got back from another 4-day round tripper to Kansas City. What was the theme? Er, the theme for this journey had nothing to do with music and everything to do with a logo child number one glimpsed in a restroom at a truckstop in PA.

There we all were, lined up three across in the stalls, doin' our thaing in silent contemplation. The children exit their stalls and head for the sink. I get ready to join them. A faucet flows. Soap gets pumped. Child number one activates the motion sensored towel dispenser. My hand hovers above the sliding lock on my door when she says: "Did you know the locks in this bathroom are made by a company called Hiney Hiders?"

My fingers freeze on the lock. "What?"

"The locks are made by Hiney Hiders."

An image of a man in a pale blue suit, bolo tie and enormous cowboy hat leaps into my brain. He's on the TV and he's talking to me in a long, tall Texas accent: "Hi! I'm Hiney Hider! Bringing you the best bathroom privacy systems in the entire nation, and parts of Eastern Europe..."

Through the course of the journey, ole Hiney Hider grew into a Southern Baptist Cultural Icon, ensuring our privacy, leading us away from temptation and delivering us from the evil of an unsecured Satan's Playground. Not bad for a humble sliding door lock. Or for a roadtrip theme.

Although I'm not entirely sure FabDame will appreciate her fab-ulous Thanksgiving being remembered as "The Hiney Hider" trip, I imagine it's preferable to "The thick, hot dog-breath" trip, which, thanks to our beloved pooch, was the only other theme on an otherwise uneventful ride.

Don't trust your privacy to just anyone. Hiney Hiders. Because



Blogger Beth Ciotta said...

OMG. It's true! I thought you were joshing until I saw the picture. What a hoot! And btw I love Buckwheat Zydeco. :)

November 27, 2006 9:48 AM  

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