Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Complete the Sentence

1. Hi my name is... this a trick question?

2. Never in my life have I...had to fill out a stoopid questionnaire like this one.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is....the idiot who steps behind a backing-up car in a parking lot.

4. High School... The Final Frontier.

5. When I'm nervous... I'm verra, verra quiet.

6. The last time I cried was... horrible.

7. If I were to get married right now my maid of honor/best man would be... non-existent. Ain't gonna happen. Ever. Again.

8. My hair is... finally reliable. Took it long enough.

9. When I was 5.... I almost married the boy next door.

10. Last Christmas...I'm drawing a blank here.

11. I should be... smarter, richer and better looking by now.

13. The craziest recent event was... a week-long Grey's Anatomy DVD glom with the children. Yeah, I know. I need to get out more.

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be... on suicide watch.

15. By this time next year... I'll be filling out another of these stoopid questionnaires.

16. My current gripe... is these stoopid questionnaires.

17. I have a hard time understanding... why I do this to myself.

18. There's this girl I know who... went white at 25, like Ava in Out of This World. Drove the men stark, raving mad.

19. You know I like you when... I tease you.

20. If I won an award, the first person I would thank would be... the people who told me I couldn't do it.

21. Take my advice... you really are what you eat. So don't eat Cheez Whiz.

22. My ideal breakfast... two eggs over medium, fried in bacon grease; crisp bacon; rye toast with black raspberry jam.

23. If you visited the place I was born... you'd get stuck in traffic.

24. I plan to visit someone... at the North Pole. You listening, X?

25. If you spend the night at my house... my dog will check your breath and your pee in the morning.

26. I'd stop my wedding if... I could have all that money back.

27. The world could do without...Cheez Whiz

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than... lick my dog's anus. WTF?

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself... Bone Deep, by Bonnie Dee. Fab read.

30. Most recent thing someone else bought for me... FabDame's fabulous jewelry.

31. My favorite blonde is... Mr. Ed.

33. My favorite redhead is... Secretariat.

34. My middle name is... none of your business.

35. This morning I... was miraculously free of eye-bags.

36. Living things I would like to see flying besides birds are... the person who walks behind backing-up cars in parking lots--straight to the moon.

37. Once, at a bar... I danced topless. It was a gay bar. Nobody looked.

38. Last night... I thought what a great romance hero Simon Cowell would make.

39. There's this guy I know who... actually has mood eyes like Arnie in Out of This World.

40: I don't know... anything anymore.

41. A better name for me would be... the woman who doesn't know anything anymore.

42. When I go back to school... instead of studying, I'm gonna sleep with my professor.

43. My birthday is... a life-changing event.

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is... an open heart, full of chocolate.

45. I'm wearing... myself out.

***Dope of The Week***

Eagle Lugging a Deer Head Causes Outage
AP
JUNEAU, Alaska (Jan. 29) - About 10,000 Juneau residents briefly lost power Sunday after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into transmission lines.

"You have to live in Alaska to have this kind of outage scenario," said Gayle Wood, an Alaska Electric Light & Power spokeswoman. "This is the story of the overly ambitious eagle who evidently found a deer head in the landfill."

The hefty bounty apparently bogged down the eagle, which failed to clear transmission lines as it flew away from the landfill, she said. When a repair crew arrived, they found the eagle carcass with the deer head nearby.

This eagle "got a hold of a little bit more than he could handle," Wood said.

Power was out less than 45 minutes.

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

Girl Scout for a Day

So this weekend was the Girl Scout cookie sale kickoff. Unfortunately, it coincided with ninth-grade assessment, a weeks-long intense project child number one had to complete with a group of other students. They're doing Should Gay Marriage Be Legalized?

Anyway, in order to relieve some of the stress, my Moppit-giving friend Dana, and I, decided to take control of our daughters's cookie booth and let them finish their project. Needless to say, the sight of two old broads selling Girl Scout cookies outside the local Blockbuster attracted some attention.

Everyone wanted to know where the girls were. Here are some of our answers:

1) They're in the bathroom from eating too many cookies.
2) We never should've taken out our braids.
3) We're the Bad Girl Scouts.
4) We're the Girl Scouts Nextdoor.

and my personal favorite:

5) We are the girl scouts. We got left back.

I guess people enjoyed the sideshow. We beat out the younger, morning crew by two boxes. And when one teenaged guy came over and I apologized that I wasn't a pretty fifteen year-old he said, "That's okay. You'll do."



Got any other lines for us in case we have to do this again?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Itchy Fingers

Over the past couple of years I've been revising pre-written books. A Lick and A Promise is the first new book I've written in quite a while and for a long time I struggled with story structure and liking the characters. I just couldn't get a proper feel for them, and wasn't as engaged as I need to be to take off.

This past week it finally clicked. My heroine revealed her heart on page 69 (an apparent phenomenon) and I was off and running.

Now I've got to deal with itchy fingers. I want to write but have so many other obligations as well. Last night, from 10pm to 11pm I fired off another 1,000 words. I haven't written at night in about four years, let alone a day's worth of word count in an hour!

It's new book lust at last. I LOVE THIS STORY! I hope you will too *gg*.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Another Thursday Thirteen


Thirteen Things in My Office


1) Vitamins

2) Wasabi almonds

3) An ancient, rattling iron fan.

4) Dog hair. No wait, that's mine.

5) An antique practice Schlager. (German rapier)

6) A bat mobile. Heh.

7) A starburst clock

8) A clock from the instrument panel of a B-24 Liberator

9) A two-ton sofa from the 70s, upholstered in avocado green and gold, with a presidential eagle motif. No wonder I have weird dreams when I nap.

10) A button from my childhood that says: War is Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things. Wow. Some things never change.

11) Book notes on shredded scraps of paper.

12) A rock from Switzerland

13) A Three Mile Island souvenier lamp (am still hunting for the matching Chernobyl one)




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!



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Monday, January 22, 2007

My Definition

Stole this meme from Heather Rae Scott, who got to be a kangaroo! I like hers better *pout*


Ann Wesley Hardin --

[noun]:

A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins



'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Character Sketch

I don't consciously envision an actual person when I'm writing my heroes. Alot of writers do, and have web pages devoted to pics of their characters. However, in Coffee, Tea or Lea? I had the idea Coop looked vaguely like Faramir in LOTR.



For Layover and Miss Behavior I had no clue at all. But Arnie, from Out of This World had a strong resemblance to the beautiful Leonard Whiting, who played Romeo in the Zeffirelli version.



And the other day it occurred to me that the hero in A Lick and A Promise looks alot like Mr. Romance 2005, Andrei Claude.





Isn't he yummy? I met him last year at RT, neener neener.

So, I guess I use real life men more than I thought. What about you as a writer or reader? Do you slip real life men into your romance novels? If so, who?

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Changing a Tire

Hey, I work in a car dealership. That makes me a car geek. Just stay with this x 3. It's worth it. I promise.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Warm Fuzzies

Lately, with all of us nose-deep in deadlines, my crit partners and I have been out of touch. It's gotten lonely on the message board of our little group and this morning I called roll. Within a few hours everyone had raised their hand--well, almost everyone *glares at you-know-who*--but what was so cool about today is one of them put out a help call.

She needed to create a brand name for a food item. I fired off a goofy name and she liked it. She's putting it in her book. How awesome is that? I can sit here and make up my own names for my own stories, but having someone else use something I said is so rockin' I got flooded with warm fuzzies.

My crit partners have generously given me plots, ideas, words. We help each other, all the time. They don't make a drug that gives you that sort of high, so I wanted to honor them with this post today.

Here's to the Bats. Long may they fwap.

What gives you the warm fuzzies?

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Thirteen Lines From My Books


1) "Also wouldn't mind killing something. A bear maybe. And dropping it at your feet." (Miss Behavior)

2) "You carved out a flippin' canyon," Arnie said. "Looks like a brontosaurus hoedown." (Miss Behavior)

3) "You're radiant. Not unlike uranium." (Coffee, Tea or Lea?)

4) And a crotch that glowed like a rotisserie grill. (Layover)

5) "But she's lost that new car smell." (Layover)

6) If Kira had to spend her life wrestling five-hundred-ton bombs on the rim of the stratosphere, the person she most wanted to do it with was Jack. (Layover)

7) He could handle a close encounter with the pretty, white-haired body snatcher. As long as she didn't try to eat him afterward. (Out of This World)

8) Her skin was as tensile as a trampoline, putting her well under fifty in people years. (Out of This World)

9) So here they were, him able to shoot straight at full gallop from thirty paces, and her armed with rubbery chicken entrees. (Coffee, Tea or Lea?)

10) "I'm not running away. I'm taking a vacation." (Coffee, Tea or Lea?)

11) "He wanted Kira to marry you." (Layover)

12) "Arnie knows things regular mortals don't." (Miss Behavior)

*drumroll* A line from A Lick and A Promise, unseen by any eyes except my editor's!

13) With the release of a deep breath, he let loose the shackles ‘round his mind and journeyed out to the center of the universe to seek her again.




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!



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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Fall Out Boy!

Yesterday I felt as if I'd just disembarked from the space shuttle and couldn't hear myself type, so you get the lowdown today.

I'd never been to the Electric Factory. It's exactly what the name says it is and was, despite really bad acoustics, the nicest, most intimate place I've ever seen a famous band (or two!)

We got there and immediately took our place in the Mosh pit, about 20 feet from the stage. I could've elected to go up to the balcony and sit with a drink, but I wanted to be close to The Boys, and delusionally thought I could save the children from being trampled and suffocated in the pit. What a fool I was. The minute Permanent Me errupted in sound, the crowd surged forward in a wave after crushing wave. Child number two was gasping for air. I grabbed her and we pushed over to the side railing, where things were less fluid. A smart move that made the experience much more enjoyable. I don't know about you, but the prospect of imminent death has a weird way of sapping my joi de vive.

Permanent Me, Early November and New Found Glory came first. As soon as they're posted--later today or tomorrow--you can see a pic of me and my dates on the New Found Glory website. No, they didn't snap the shot because I'm sooo famous and they're such BIG fans, although I can fantasize, can't I?

We enjoyed all the other bands--esp. NFG who were exceptionally personable--but, you know, there's a reason some achieve greatness and some hover high to midlist. I think the difference has nothing to do with talent (or even likability) and everything to do with that old black magic called mystique. Three hours later, when FOB came on, my suspicions were confirmed.

Now, I love their music. Particularly the lyrics. Pete Wentz can turn a spectacular metaphor--the kind that makes me sit here wondering why I ever took up the pen. Unfortunately, the warehouse setting made it amost impossible to hear any subtleties in notes, let alone lyrics. If I had to choose a word to describe it, it'd be cacophany. But, watching them was enough.

I like seeing what famous people really look like without air-brushing, computer enhancement and forced poses. All of them are much better looking in person, in action, particularly Wentz who has that magnetic stage presence. His photos really don't do him justice at all. Patrick, his perfect foil, is equally alluring and in his own quieter way, commands the stage. It's curious to me how some people can project their souls out there onto the marquis of universal consciousness and some couldn't be seen with the Hubble telescope. Not saying I know FOB any better than I did before the concert, but my internal radar picked up bleeps. Disturbances.

One thing that impressed me was how Pete responded to everything thrown onto the stage. He'd dutifully pick it up and inspect it. Until someone tossed an orange bra at him. That, he wouldn't touch and he rolled his eyes and pulled a face. The girls and I agreed that he won our respect for that reaction.

So, a good show, nice venue, pretty eye candy. It didn't leave me breathless and babbling like Roger Waters did, but Pink Floyd music is like crack to me and I could actually hear the individual notes at that concert. It was an audio/visual orgy. Plus, there was that whole legend thing going on.

Fall Out Boy was more a midnight snack. But a furtive, delicious one in the light of the fridge. One that makes you want more. Next time I'd like to see them for the music. It'd mean a sacrifice on intimacy--something FOB has resisted thus far, and another reason I admire them--but dayum. I want the orgy!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Watch FOB



Tonight I'll bank some major good mommy points--perhaps enough for the rest of my life. I'm taking myself, the girls and a friend to see Fall Out Boy at the Philly Electric Factory!

Shhhh. Don't tell them this isn't an altruistic gesture. I love me some FOB. Dance, dance!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Dope Of The Week

Man's Homemade Mole Killer Kills Him Instead

Reuters

BERLIN (Jan. 11) - A German retiree who wired up a high-voltage cable to try to wipe out the moles digging up his garden killed himself instead, police said Thursday.

Uwe Werner, police spokesman in Stralsund north of Berlin, said the 63-year-old retired construction foreman was found dead in the garden of his weekend house in Zingst next to a 380-volt cable and metal spikes rammed into the ground.

"The moles survived," Werner said, noting the voltage was enough to run a cement mixer or heavy-duty power saw. "It was in any event an unorthodox method to try to get rid of moles."

Thursday, January 11, 2007

It's My Birthday!

My good friend Dana--the one in the dedication of Out of This World and who gives me Moppits when I sell a manuscript--is taking me out to lunch!

Otherwise my day will be spent delivering unmentionable forgotten items to child number one at school, going to a high school orientation, and writing.

Oh yeah, thought I'd treat myself to a nap.

Be still my pounding heart.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Kids Do The Darnedest Things

This just in from Fabdame.

Read the hysterical "Dear Daughters" post here: http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/

Monday, January 08, 2007

Thank You For Smoking

The last time I tried to quit smoking, the world had just experienced the phenomenon of The Two Towers. In celebration of both monumental feats, and to chronicle my struggle, I wrote this parody.

I'm about to quit again. This time I joined a class to learn how, a support group, if you will. *sigh* Someday it's gonna stick. Anyway, I figured it'd be a good time to share with you guys exactly what happens to me when I try to quit. Be warned...

The Lord of The Smoke Rings Episode I: The Smelly Ship of the Nico-ring

A great dread has fallen upon the land. The wrinkled eye of Philip Morris peers across the waste, seeking quitters and those who haven't yet started. The black lung wizard - SalemMan - has fallen under Philip's smell and has used his mighty powers to construct a cigarette factory in the hinterlands. Amassing a vast army of precancerous organs to destroy anyone who won't suck a cig, he has sent his nine accursed smokeringwraiths to sniff out the most cancerous smoke ring of all.

One Smokering to fry them all. One smokering to fill them. One smokering to addict them all and in the darkness, kill them.

In a safe, happy, smokefree keep far away lives a tiny bat who has unwittingly brought the evil weed of despair to her cave. For Philip Morris' reach is vast, and the smoke ring which has lain quiet for centuries, is about to awake and seek its master.

Batbo Battin has no idea of the smoke ring's power. She plays with it, thinking she can quit any time. Because when she has her smoke ring, no one can see her - they're too busy coughing and tearing - and Batbo thinks that's pretty funny.

That is precisely what SalemMan wants her to think.

Gandalf The GreyFace convinces Batbo to part with the smokering, foisting it onto her clear chested niece, Fraidy, and telling her if she doesn't throw it into the Ashtray Mountains, someone else will - maybe even Legless TobaccoLeaf, or Arrogant son of ArianScorn. Fraidy won't have that, nosirree, so she hustles off with Scam Gangrene for an adventure the likes of which you've never seen.

Despite her better judgement, Fraidy does end up with Legless and Arrogant and a handful of other losers including Gimme, who suffers stunted growth from smoking as a child, and Bored O' Me - the insolent prince of Groandor who needs a smoke so badly, he's willing to kill for it.

Fraidy: "Scam, it's getting heavy. I can't do this."

Scam: "What's getting heavy?"

Fraidy: "The smokering, you doofus. I need to inhale it."

Bored O' Me: "Give it to me, shaftling. I'll bear the load."

Arrogant: "No, I'll bear it."

Bored O' Me: "No. I will."

Arrogant: "No, me!"

Fraidy: "I can't stand it! I can't stand it! I must do this alone!"

Arrogant: "You can trust me."

Fraidy: "But can you trust yourself?"

A moment of silent awe

Arrogant: "Fraidy, I would have gone all the way with you."

Bored O' Me: "Not if I got there first."

Gimme (aside): "Can we kill the freak and make it look like an accident?"

Legless: "Leave it to me. I'm sElfish. We have powers."

Gimme: "Too bad you have no legs."

Arrogant's Dream Sequence:

TarWench of ElderLung: "Sleep, my love. Gather your strength. You shall be Nonsmo-King. It is your path."

Arrogant (mumbling): "I shouldn't be Nonsmo-King. But I want to."

TarWench: "You must."

Arrogant: "But the toxic gases of my father flow in my veins."

TarWench: "Never fear. I shall suck the poisons out of you with a gentle kiss."

Arrogant awakens with the DTs. At his side is CO-Wins, the beautiful but deadly lady of RoamingHand.

Arrogant: "Uh oh."

And so, the black cloud of doom wheezed across the Marches. The Smelly Ship disbanded, with Fraidy and Scam on the dark path to Mordor, and Arrogant, Legless and Gimme running and running and running. Oh yeah, Gandalf GreyFace bought the farm.

Legless (whispers): "There goes Arrogant listening to the rocks again, pretending to know what he's doing."

Gimme: "Yeah, the brown-noser."

Arrogant (rising): "Someone's coming. Hide!"

Gimme: "Wish I was coming."

Legless: (giggle)

Arrogant: "Shhhhhh."

A stunned moment as a great, stinking army thunders past

Arrogant: "Just as I thought."

Gimme: "Dorks..."

Legless: "And they've got Murky and Flippin."

The Dorks spread like cancer, some in the service of Philip Morris, some of the traitor SalemMan of Blistergard. They hung out on streetcorners, overrunning nursing homes and elementary schools, forcing cigarettes on young and old alike until even the smokeringwraiths coughed and choked on their demonic steeds, hacking and spewing their filth across Middle Earth. But through it all, Fraidy and Scam trudged onwards, with nothing but Elven Llamas to eat. One dank night, they sensed a third party in their midst...

Scam: "Look! What is that?"

Fraidy: "Glum."

Scam: "Me too, you durn whiner. But who is it?"

Fraidy: "Smeargol."

Scam: (slapping Fraidy on the back) "You must be choking on the Llamas, Mistress Fraidy. I knew those sElfish folk were up to no good. No good at all."

Glum: "Dude! Want a fag?"

Scam: "Get away from us, ya fairy! We're not that sort of folk!"

Glum: "Precioussssssss."

Scam: "Flock this Mistress Fraidy. I didn't sign up for no funny business."

Fraidy: "Scam! Scam! Come back!"

Glum: "Guess it's you and me, dudette."

Deep in the bowels of Smirkwood, Murky and Flippin stumble cluelessly about. Having escaped the Dorks - who wanted to shred and smoke them - they're at a loss over what to do next. And they're hungry... and cold...

Flippin: "Here. Let's chop down that tree and build a fire at least."

Murky: "I dunno, Flip. A minute ago it winked at me."

Flippin: "Are you daft, man? Trees don't wink!"

Murky: "Well, that one did. I saw it with me own eyes."

Treeweird: "That you did, boy."

Flippin: "Wha?"

Chop chop chop *screeeeeeeeeeeee* THUNK

Murky: "Now you've gone and done it. Who's gonna march on BlisterGard when the war begins?"

Flippin: "Well you might ha' told me there was to be a war!"

Murky: "Do I have ta tell you everything ya nitwit!"

Mysterious White Man (from behind): "Boys! Silence!"

The Globbits turn, wide eyed...

Murky: "Bless me. He's back."

Flippin: "And awfully white lookin too."

Mysterious White Man: "You think? Darn it all! I tried everything - blush, eyeshadow, hair dye..." Falls sobbing

Murky (glaring at Flippin): "There there now, Blandalf. It's not like you can help it."

Blandalf: "It's the chemo. It washes me out."

Murky: "O' course it does. There there."

Blandalf: "Arrogant's going to laugh at me."

Flippin (stifling a snicker): "Now who would do something like that?"

Murky (wiping an eye): "No one's going to laugh, Blandalf. Besides, the Smelly Ship was disbanded. We don't know what became of any of them."

A scuffling in the woods...

Arrogant, Gimme and Legless: "We're here!"

Much hugging, back slapping and muffled mirth upon seeing Blandalf.

Arrogant: "We must run to RoamingHand. King Thalidomide has fallen under SalemMan's smell."

Legless: (sulk)

Gimme: "You can't hold it against him, Legless. He didn't know what effect he'd have on you all those years ago."

Blandalf: "And I have new powers now that I've been irradiated."

Legless: ( perk)

Blandalf points staff ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzap

Blandalf: "Stand and run, Legsofass."

Legsofass: "eeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyooooooooooore."

Gimme: "At least I have someone to ride now."

In the Halls of King Thalidomide, Wormtongue has constructed a massive, multi-armed Hooka. Stoked with powerful black tobacco - fresh from the farms of BlisterGard - the Hooka puffs out smoke for hours on end, filling the vast keep with noxious fumes. Gray-faced and drawn, King Thalidomide sits listlessly, uncaring of the raging death occurring in his lands and in his house, unheeding of his niece CO-Win's pleas. SalemMan has released the Dorks in blighty numbers, instructing them to wreak havoc at every turn. The end of Middle Earth is nigh. RoamingHand needs a savior, and needs him quick.

Fraidy: "This is some bodacious weed, man. Where'd you score it?"

Glum: "I have sourcessssss."

Fraidy: "Most excellent."

Scram (crashing through the brush): "Don't inhale it Mistress Fraidy! Don't do it!"

Fraidy: "Scram! You came back!"

Scram: "I couldn't stop myself, Mistress, the road goes in a giant circle. We'll never make it to the Ashtray Mountains at this rate."

Glum: "I know the way, dudes."

Fraidy: "You must take us."

Scram: "Hush. What's that?"

Yet another army advances...

Glum: "I'm history."

Fraidy: "Get back here, Glum."

Scram: "Let the fairy go. Look a' what's coming."

A manly voice from behind... "Bind them."

Fraidy and Scram: "Whaa?

Manly voice: "I am Pheromone - younger and better looking brother to Bored O' Me."

Scram: "It's Gimme you'd be wanting then."

Fraidy: "Shut up, Scram. We never saw your brother, Pheromone, and we don't know who the skulker is that's following us, either."

Pheromone: "Liars. You just wait til we get to Groandor."

Fraidy: "But we have to go to the Ashtray - "

Pheromone: "You'll go where I say you'll go!"

Scram (whispers to Fraidy) "Sounds as if Dad liked Bored O' Me better."

Fraidy: "Nevertheless, all is lost, Scram. The longer I have the smokering the weaker I grow. We'll never make it now."

On the road to Groandor...

Pheromone: "So then, Da says why can't you be more like Bored O' Me? and I says, Because I'm better looking dammit. And younger too. I have qualities. And Da says, qualities my a$$.. So you see what I'm up against, Fraidy. You must give me the smokering."

Fraidy's eyes roll back in her head.

Scram: "Can't you see what a burden it is?"

Pheromone: "I can't see beyond my inequalities."

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Scram: "Smokeringwraiths!"

Pheromone: "Not to worry. We sprayed for them last week."

Scram: "Fat lot o' good it did you, too. Where's Fraidy?"

Fraidy climbs the battlements. The smokering's power has taken over. With a trembling hand, she offers it to the wraith...

Smokeringwraith: "Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Fwap, whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, thunk. The smokeringwraith is smoted.

Fraidy: "Must. Have. Cigarette."

Scam: "No Mistress Fraidy. I must have my soliloqy or this damned movie won't end."

Fraidy: "Have at it, Scam. Not that you'd have anything of interest to say after 6 hours and too much popcorn with fake butter."

Scam: "See, in the stories of old, people quit smoking all the time! They did it on their own. Cold turkey! Surely they felt weak, betrayed. Maybe they wished the burden hadn't fallen upon them. At some point, they wanted to start smoking again. I figure, they must have made a choice to stay smokefree. They held onto something..."

Fraidy: "Like your neck?"

Scam: "Something bigger than themselves. There's clean air in this world, Mistress Fraidy. There's clear lungs and phlegm-free laughter."

Another moment of silent awe

Fraidy: "Thank you, Scam. All it took was one short speech from a simple garbageman to cure the world of its ails."

Pheromone (kneeling): "At last we understand each other."

Fraidy: "You mean we can continue our mission?"

Pheromone: "Not on your life, Fraidy. I didn't know Scam was a garbageman - have you seen the kitchen? Oy Vey...."

THE END

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Blithering Fangirl

It's been quite a while since I had a blithering fangirl moment. And I mean a looooong while. I've seen lots of movies in my life. They vie with books for my favorite form of entertainment. But I have to say the last ten years have been a dry spell for me. There hasn't been a movie I couldn't find at least a small flaw in, no matter how hard I tried, or how badly I wanted to. It'd gotten to the point where the girls hated to see a movie with me. And I couldn't blame them.

Tonight I saw the perfect movie. Perfect. And I'm sitting here in shock, feeling that good ole movie high. My heart she is a-pounding. What is this movie, you might ask.

THE DEPARTED.

Oh. My. Freaking. GOD.

The story was utterly flawless, utterly shocking, utterly surprising and monumentally acted. And you know what else? It was TRUE. None of this mamby pamby Hollywood feel good stuff. It never descended to that--not even at the end when it looked as if the bad guy would get away. Because even that would be too cliched. This movie ended in the only way it could. Score a giant one for Scorsese.

The men? Holy crap. All of them held their own against Nicholson. There wasn't one performance that stood out, not one that over-shadowed another (even down to the bit parts) not one that even had a lukewarm scene. These guys were on fire. I can still smell the testosterone. Perhaps that's why when I open my mouth, nothing but bleeblebleeblebleeble comes out. I'm in freakin' awe.

The woman was one of those who isn't typically pretty, yet you can't take your eyes off her. Magnetic. Just like the men.

bleeblebleeblebleeblebleeble.

That's me.

Go. See. This. MOVIE!

Friday, January 05, 2007

My Nine Names

Ripped this off from Heather Rae Scott's blog. Too fun to resist!

1. YOUR REAL NAME:

Ann

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzl)

Annizzl

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

Yellow Elephant

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name)

Elizabeth Horseshoe

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)

Haranier

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink).

Orange Dr. Pepper

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name).

Nweerjo


8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name)

Jo

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)

Black Poppy

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Website Updates

****They're up! They're up! Please head on over and read the ENTIRE first chapters of every one of my books!!**** Just click on the Excerpts link on the menu. Yay!!

I'm working with the webmaster today to make some exciting new changes on my website!

Soon there'll be a pdf excerpt page where you can read the entire first chapter of each of my books, a direct link to this blog for news and information, and clickable links to Amazon and the Ellora's Cave downloads of each book!

I hope you'll take a tour in the next few days and let me know if there's anything else you'd like to see on my website. Thanks!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Year, New Contract!

Weeeell, lookie what I found in my inbox this afternoon. Why, it's another contract! Yay!

The official title is A Lick and A Promise and it's a sequel to Out of This World. I'll work up a special sneak peak for my blog readers in a few days. Right now, it's off to finish this baby!