Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Complete the Sentence

1. Hi my name is... this a trick question?

2. Never in my life have I...had to fill out a stoopid questionnaire like this one.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is....the idiot who steps behind a backing-up car in a parking lot.

4. High School... The Final Frontier.

5. When I'm nervous... I'm verra, verra quiet.

6. The last time I cried was... horrible.

7. If I were to get married right now my maid of honor/best man would be... non-existent. Ain't gonna happen. Ever. Again.

8. My hair is... finally reliable. Took it long enough.

9. When I was 5.... I almost married the boy next door.

10. Last Christmas...I'm drawing a blank here.

11. I should be... smarter, richer and better looking by now.

13. The craziest recent event was... a week-long Grey's Anatomy DVD glom with the children. Yeah, I know. I need to get out more.

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be... on suicide watch.

15. By this time next year... I'll be filling out another of these stoopid questionnaires.

16. My current gripe... is these stoopid questionnaires.

17. I have a hard time understanding... why I do this to myself.

18. There's this girl I know who... went white at 25, like Ava in Out of This World. Drove the men stark, raving mad.

19. You know I like you when... I tease you.

20. If I won an award, the first person I would thank would be... the people who told me I couldn't do it.

21. Take my advice... you really are what you eat. So don't eat Cheez Whiz.

22. My ideal breakfast... two eggs over medium, fried in bacon grease; crisp bacon; rye toast with black raspberry jam.

23. If you visited the place I was born... you'd get stuck in traffic.

24. I plan to visit someone... at the North Pole. You listening, X?

25. If you spend the night at my house... my dog will check your breath and your pee in the morning.

26. I'd stop my wedding if... I could have all that money back.

27. The world could do without...Cheez Whiz

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than... lick my dog's anus. WTF?

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself... Bone Deep, by Bonnie Dee. Fab read.

30. Most recent thing someone else bought for me... FabDame's fabulous jewelry.

31. My favorite blonde is... Mr. Ed.

33. My favorite redhead is... Secretariat.

34. My middle name is... none of your business.

35. This morning I... was miraculously free of eye-bags.

36. Living things I would like to see flying besides birds are... the person who walks behind backing-up cars in parking lots--straight to the moon.

37. Once, at a bar... I danced topless. It was a gay bar. Nobody looked.

38. Last night... I thought what a great romance hero Simon Cowell would make.

39. There's this guy I know who... actually has mood eyes like Arnie in Out of This World.

40: I don't know... anything anymore.

41. A better name for me would be... the woman who doesn't know anything anymore.

42. When I go back to school... instead of studying, I'm gonna sleep with my professor.

43. My birthday is... a life-changing event.

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is... an open heart, full of chocolate.

45. I'm wearing... myself out.


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