Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Of Fat Cats, Mt. McKinley and Triplets


So Denali, The High One, otherwise known as my dumbass dog, decided it was in the family's best interest for her to tangle with one fat cat.

She's a Belgian Malinois mutt and has, historically, been the fiercest, smartest dog I've ever owned. She learns everything in threes. Three whacks on the butt and she never peed in the house again. Three treats to spring through a hoop (BM's spring. They don't jump). Three introductions and you're a friend for life, yada yada. Unfortunately, she's only tangled with a cat twice. Yesterday being the second time.

I'd gone outside to watch a male and female cardinal in a mating ritual. Denali had followed. She was standing on the deck, policing our airspace, when in my periphery I saw a tabby waddle across the lawn.

Remember that scene in Jaws, when Quint's fishing rod clicks? Yeah. That was me.

By the time I'd turned to snatch Denali's collar and wrestle her into the house, she'd launched off the deck like Quint's line.

There's a split-rail fence around my property. It's enclosed with that plastic coated wire. The poor cat ran for it, bounced off like a pinball, tried to haul it's ass up and over... the High One was upon it.

Now, Denali has captured and killed a good sized bunny, torn the tail feathers out of a retreating mockingbird, and quietly and sociopathically attempted murder on my sister's cat. A fainthearted enemy she is not. But luckily for our pudgy neighbor, she's getting old.

The cat turned on her, hissed and swatted, bounced like a pinball, hissed and swatted. I bellowed. Denali missed a beat, then must've gotten a paw or a branch shoved down her throat.

By the time I got her into the house she was shaking and choking, hacking and foaming, and covered in mud.

Later, she threw up.

It was so sad. To see how the mighty has fallen. On top of that, a thunderstorm blew through and reduced her to a jellied wreck.

I hope she's still capable of learning in threes. Otherwise I might have to rename her Mt. St. Helen.

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