Sunday, August 05, 2007

Scurrilous Rumors and Furry Shorts

So I'm back from spending the weekend at various booksignings with some of my fellow EC authors.

Liddy Midnight, Jennifer Dunne, Tara Nina, Judy Mays , and Cris Anson.

This was my first EC "tour" outside of the mass signings of RTs past, and as ya'll know already, they rolled out the bus for us! First let me say it's an eyecatcher. It acts as a giant billboard outside the bookstore and fans can take a look inside and pick up souvenier T-shirts and such. It's pretty impressive and I wished we were all travelling in it, rock star style. But, alas, we were left to trail along in an Ellora's Convoy from location to location -- a small detail that shocked our many fans and groupies (such as Renee).

Moving on to the booksellers. Talk about royal treatment! These ladies went the extra mile to make us feel honored, comfortable, fed and hydrated -- even scurrying around the mall to get that diva, Liddy Midnight, her double-half-caf-lo-fat-latte with pineapple twist. I couldn't believe she'd torture those saintly booksellers by ordering such a high maintenance beverage. But well, that's Liddy. More on her later.

So, as happens, when you let a half dozen erorom authors loose in a store, hijinks ensue. Were it not for moi, the Voice of Reason and Keeper of Notes, God only knows what they'd have gotten into --probably all the furry shorts, travelling pants and manly splendors -- especially that diva, Liddy.

More on her later.

By the third signing, Saturday night, we were seated in an L-shape at the store entrance and slap happy from the sugary cakes Renee (our stalker) drugged us with. All part of her evil plan to get our autographs on everything from her T-shirts to her...well, I don't know and I didn't ask. Perhaps her furry shorts!

But even through the slap happy, my ears were keen and my eyes observant. You can learn alot about your fellow authors just by listening. So here's some dish. Below are actual, uncut and uncensored snippets of conversation from the ladies of EC. Remember, what you read here stays here:

Liddy and Jennifer slept together, but Jennifer doesn't remember who she slept with! Can you believe it?? Guess Liddy isn't all that and a piece of cake after all. Hehe. Anyway, Judy followed Jennifer to bed and Liddy didn't let Judy out of bed Sunday morning. Maybe it's because Jennifer has fuzzy cleavage. Don't ask me. It could just be that Liddy is a snot.

I couldn't agree more!

So then Liddy said Judy is hot and that Liddy can come anytime. But Liddy has double Ds and, unfortunately, Judy likes butts. Hehe. Likes them so much, in fact, that even though Tara shares her double As, Judy checks her cleavage at the door.

Liddy, who never shuts up, said Tara is too young for her. Tara ignored Liddy, as usual, because Tara likes to suck and Liddy stuffs and swallows! Of course they're never going to get along. D'oh. However, Jennifer sucks krill, so maybe there's a match there, especially since Jennifer is good with her feet up and does it with Tara's book, AND Jennifer is the four-hour-orgasm girl.

Hmmm.

What else. What else? Oh yeah. Cris pees her pants, Kathy Kulig undresses in public, and Judy had to keep fanning herself behind the curtain. Some group, eh?

I can see ya'll's wheels turning. With all this dirty, smutty behavior going on, where was I? What did these gutter snipes have to say about me?

Well.

WELL...

After that rhymes-with-runt, Liddy, called me a ho, nobody would sleep with me!

And for this, she will never be forgiven.

In fact, this...

this means war...

6 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer Dunne said...

Ann, you forgot to mention, Liddy keeps a MUMMIFIED BODY in her attic! No wonder she's having to move on Halloween.

Oh, and you made it very clear that you swallow, too. ;-)

Pop over to my blog at http://jennifer-dunne.livejournal.com to see what *I* had to say about the book tour.

August 06, 2007 2:22 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Your comments are nothing but scurrilous lies. Lies I tell you!

August 07, 2007 9:01 AM  
Blogger Renee' said...

I should have paid more attention, it seems I missed a lot.

Though I am surprized you all don't have carpel tunnel from all the signing I and others had you do. Ok, mostly me!

These ladies were as much fun to watch as to read!

August 08, 2007 4:43 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Renee, without you it wouldn't have been half as much fun, or half as delicious!

August 09, 2007 10:58 PM  
Blogger Renee' said...

Ann, I had heard you "swallowed" but I had no idea you sucked up so well!

I am all a twitter that you picked me to utilize you hidden talents.

An author that gives her fans the personal touch, WOW! Thanks!

Renee'

August 10, 2007 12:43 AM  
Blogger Liddy Midnight said...

Hmmm...I wonder what booksignings you attended, Ann! I recall the whole weekend completely differently.

Among other things, you did announce that you're tired of giving it away.

For a more realistic view of the trip, please visit my blog. I don't clutter my pretty little head up with URLs for that sort of thing (I have people) but you can reach it through my website, www.liddymidnight.com

And Renee', you do know it's all your fault. I have it written in my notes, so it must be true. (Actually, I believe that refers to the sugar rush we all got from just looking at those fabulous bakery products. You're the best!)

Hugs to everyone but that liar Ann,
Liddy

August 10, 2007 9:58 AM  

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