Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Thirteen Corrupted Wishes

Anyone up for a rousing episode of my favorite game, Corrupted Wishes?

Remember the rules--grant the wish but with a horrifying twist. After granting the previous person's wish, make one of your own.

For example:

Ann: I wish I could go to Europe...

You: Wish granted Ann! You can go to Europe -- on a flying carpet during a Luftwaffe air raid!
I wish I had a million dollars...

Someone Else: Wish granted You! You have a million dollars -- half of what you need to pay your defense lawyer for that civil suit! I wish I could fly...

And so on. Let's get it started early and see if we can exceed thirteen wishes by Thursday night!

I'll go first: I wish my face wouldn't bloat anymore...

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23 Comments:

Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Ann, wish granted.

Just your body will bloat!

August 29, 2007 6:19 PM  
Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Oops! I forgot to make my wish!

Bev: I wish my urticaria would stop itching.

August 29, 2007 6:21 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

(had to look that one up)

Congratulations, Bev! Your urticaria will stop itching -- as long as you keep that Pygmy witch doctor on your back!

I wish my book would be made into a movie...

August 29, 2007 7:08 PM  
Anonymous Kris Starr said...

Wish granted, Ann! Your book is made into a b-class TV movie, starring David Hasslehoff and Valerie Bertinelli. Except the scriptwriters change the plot, setting and characters.

I wish I could get a new car. :)

August 29, 2007 7:14 PM  
Blogger Renee' said...

Your wish is my command Kris! Hold on to it for a long, long time, they say this particular model Matchbox car is going to make big money on ebay some day. Remember to leave it in the orginal packaging!

I wish I could have mulitple orgasms

August 30, 2007 4:24 AM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Renee, your wish is granted! You can have multiple orgasms, each one triggering ovulation!

I wish I could eat anything I wanted...

August 30, 2007 5:55 AM  
Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Ann, your wish is granted. You can eat anything you want but you can't swallow. (Sorry Renee.)

I wish I could get rid of my Pygmy Witch Doctor.....

August 30, 2007 12:50 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Damn you're good, Bev. You made me choke.

Okay.

Bev, your wish is granted! You can get rid of your Pygmy Witch Doctor -- after you have sex with him 342 times and bear him two sets of twins!

I wish I could be an astronaut...

August 30, 2007 3:21 PM  
Blogger Renee' said...

Done! You are now an astronaut. Your crew mate is so excited to meet you. So excited in fact that she put on a diaper and drove 950 miles non stop. Just ignore the wig,dark glasses and trench coat, she is a tad bit touchy!

I wish for a tall dark cowboy

August 30, 2007 5:29 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

Wish granted Renee!

Unfortunately he's missing a few teeth and his chaps just don't quite fit over his beer belly anymore.

I wish I had a vampire :)

August 30, 2007 5:31 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Your wish is granted, Ashley! You have a vampire -- with veneers...

Everywhere.

I wish a man would love me for me...

August 30, 2007 10:07 PM  
Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Your wish is granted Ann. Your man will show you how much he cares for you as soon as he gets out of prison!

I wish I could have come up with a better answer.....

August 30, 2007 11:39 PM  
Anonymous Nat said...

Wish granted: you'll be able to turn back time, come up with a different answer, only you'll have to relive adolescence.
I wish aliens would come take me away (again).

August 31, 2007 4:20 AM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Nat, your wish is granted! The aliens from Planet Anchovie are coming to take you away!

I wish I wasn't so tired...

August 31, 2007 6:02 AM  
Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Ann, your wish is granted. You will fall asleep for a year and be awakened by the "Pygmy Witch Doctor" who will demand sex, etc.

I wish for a trip to a tropical island.....

August 31, 2007 3:16 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Bev, your wish is granted! You're going to Figi -- in a canoe!

I wish I could drink all the beer I want and never get fat or drunk...

August 31, 2007 4:50 PM  
Blogger Renee' said...

Ann, you got your wish! Drink away! you won't get fat or drunk, but you will get stupid and it will be permanant!

I wish for eternal youth

August 31, 2007 8:14 PM  
Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Renee, your wish is granted. Just make sure that there is always someone close to change your diaper.

I wish for someone to organize my library

August 31, 2007 11:33 PM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Bev, you have your wish! Your library is organized alphabetically -- according to the third word in each book!

I wish this game could go on forever, we'd get famous and turn it into a bestseller...

September 01, 2007 1:43 AM  
Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

Ann, your wish is granted. "Corrupted Wishes" is a runaway bestseller but it is turned into a b-grade movie starring O.J. Simpson, Paris Hilton, Martha Stewart and Michael Vick.

I have no more wishes!

September 01, 2007 4:59 AM  
Blogger Renee' said...

NEWS FLASH:
Recently a stalker that has been hounding best selling author Ann Wesley Hardin was caught with thousands of copies of her newest book. When asked why, he commented " I can relate to her, as she is crazier than I am". Further details have come to light that suggest this stalker was using the pages of her book to wall paper his house. he was heard saying that "the pages work better than aluminum foil at keeping the "voices" out!
Stalker is out on bail

I wish people were nocturnal instead of diunral

September 01, 2007 6:13 AM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

*wheezing*

Renee, your wish is granted! People are now nocturnal because the ozone layer is depleted and the atmosphere has turned into a crock-pot.

I wish for eternal autumn...

September 01, 2007 10:14 AM  
Blogger Renee' said...

Nope, sorry, no can do! Head bobbing, finger clicking girlfriend mode.. HELL NO!

I hate raking! In fact, I want to astro-turf my whole yard and put in plastic trees!

Your wish would forever doom me to an aching back and bottle's of Alieve...You live way to close to me for that wish to be granted.

I forfeit my wish in order to cancel Ann's. heheh

September 03, 2007 2:10 AM  

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