Thursday, March 06, 2008

Friday Feature Presentation...When the Truth is Too...Everything

Yeah, it's a heavy topic for a Friday. But we've got the whole weekend, so, what the hell.

We've all suffered. All had bad things happen to us. For me, the past ten years have involved all the men I've loved dying -- one of them traumatically and violently-- all of them sadly.

It's also involved divorce -- the end of a dream. No one gets married thinking they'll leave someday. As happy as I am to be single, I still grieve the dream.

But in the middle of all that I got two incredible children, made friends with amazing women around the world, achieved the lifetime goal of being a published author, and somehow managed to snag a Great Boyfriend.

So there's tremendous joy. Tremendous!

However, even though I'm an optimist, the bad still comes back to haunt me. What is it about death? Is it the irrevocableness? I think it must be.

Everything else can be fixed. I can stop being published, then submit another book. I can get divorced and remarried. I can (or at least until recently) have another child if I ruin these two with psychological torture. And God knows I've tried! *gg* Or at least foster or adopt.

I can get another Great Boyfriend -- as hard as that might seem on paper. They're out there!

But I can't bring back my dead loved ones.

So, if I follow the adage: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...blah blah, I should be happy with what I have. And I am. I am!

But, the good is SO good and the bad is SO bad.

Is there ever a middle ground? Do I want middle ground? Could I be happy with middle ground?

I think not. And that's exactly why my life has gone how it has.

What about you? Are you a regular person who seeks middle ground? Or is your life full of extreme joy and devastating sorrow?

Are you happy the way things are, or would you like it to be different?

Do you thoroughly feel the good and the bad? If you do, do you think this makes you a Drama Junkie, or a Healthy Human Being?

If you don't, do you think this makes you a loser?

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Be that as it may, destroy a braincell or two over the weekend and get back to me!



Anonymous jane/fabdame said...

I am working on cultivating "beginner's mind" (see for more details)
I like thinking the world is full of infinite possiblities.
Your crazy sis.

March 06, 2008 8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I want to experience everything, but try to keep myself in some kind of balanced state - aware of both the seduction of extremes and the seduction of easy, unchallenged life.
I think the key is to develop a reliable inner voice, one that helps sort out the external forces working on you from your own natural rhythms and tensions. Are you making a big deal out of something, or is it really a big deal? What's an actual obstacle, and which obstacles are the ones you create or carry with you?
Some people seem born with that voice, but for alot of us it can be ridiculously hard to figure out.


March 09, 2008 9:58 AM  
Blogger Ann Wesley Hardin said...

I don't think you're crazy, Jane. Just a little off...

*bookmarking Beginner's Mind*

How true, DIP. And this after a night of excess! I can't imagine what you might come up with in a normal state. Guess I'm just gonna hafta stick around to find out.

March 09, 2008 6:54 PM  

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