Thursday, September 25, 2008


For the second time in two days, car rental customers have accused me of not disclosing some of the terms of the rental agreement. K, fine.

You didn't listen to my spiel in person the same way you don't listen to a greeting on the phone. You're too impatient to get out and go about your all important day to understand that we're giving you the keys to a 30,000 dollar piece of equipment. You're also too dumb to realize that you do have to answer some questions and prove you will bring it back before we'll surrender it to you.

K, fine.

Now, I've been in some sort of service job my whole frickin' life. I know how to defuse most explosive situations. But what I've got here, lately, is a whole different ball game.

First let me tell you how both of these men, YES MEN, accused me of not telling them A) that the collision damage waiver fee was 15.00/day, and B) that the fee for an additional driver was 2.00/day.

We have a speech. A speech. A written speech that we memorize. If we don't memorize it and recite it exactly as written, we, the agents, are responsible for any financial loss to the company resulting from that oversight. You think I don't know my speech? You think I'd risk my rent on not saying it? If you do, you're an asshole and I can't help you.


K, fine.

But apparently I didn't recite the speech to these two men.

One year, 1500 hundred customers served the same bat speech, same bat tone, same bat time in the process. Yet for these two whiny bastards, I mean men, I didn't recite the speech.

And here's what they told me, "I know in my deepest heart of hearts, Ann, that you never told me I would have to pay for collision/extra driver"... birth in the front seat/blowing my brains out in the car/shattering the headlights/stealing the tires/keeping the car an extra day/shredding the upholstery/using it as a kitty litterbox...Wah. Wah! You didn't tell me. Nevermind that I put my signature on the legal contract while saying "yeah, yeah I know" to your speech. You didn't tell me. You didn't stop me from signing and make me understand what I was doing so therefore I am not responsible for what I did....

"In my deepest heart of hearts."

They actually used these words. Both of them.

Men. MEN!!

"In my deepest heart of hearts."

Is there something in the air? A full moon that I missed? Am I prejudiced? Sue me. No real man would say that about two extra bucks a day. Did they think I'd soften? Were they trying to appeal to the woman in me? The romance writer in me? Non. Because when that didn't work, they bullied me.

"I want this done now, Ann. Make it go away now, Ann. Get me your boss now, Ann."

In your deepest wet dreams, bud. Words are my life. Truth is my life. Combined, words and truth are something I'd probably die for.

You, young wimpy man, are a liar! Liar liar pants on fire!!! Burn bastard burn.


I feel better now.

No one calls me a liar. And lives.

What punches your buttons? Do tell.


Anonymous Bev Stephans said...

All of our buttons get punched at one time or another. I feel your pain because dealing with the public can be a royal pain in the ass! Of course he heard the speech, but that didn't stop him from being a jerk.

When I was running a dental office, I would get my share of weird all of the time. My favorite is the guy who called and asked me how much it cost to pull a tooth. I started to tell him what extractions started at, but he interrupted and said, "I don't want it extracted, I want it pulled!"

Dealing with the insurance was a whole other ball game. Between the insurance companies that didn't want to pay and the patients who thought that insurance covered everything, I'm surprised I have any hair left. I always felt like I was pulling it out.

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but at least you know you're not alone.

September 25, 2008 9:54 PM  
Blogger Don Guitar said...

Executive mentality at its worst: Never plan for disaster. When one occurs pass the buck. If the buck can't be passed, deny culpability on any imaginable grounds, ignoring any inconvenient facts which happen to be available. When there are no viable avenues of escape left treat everyone you encounter as though they were a revered and much loved relative in hopes of invoking an automatic forgiveness response. Don't ask, never tell, and plant false trails and misleading rumors at every opportunity.

Sounds like you've encountered a pair of those legendary apples who're jeopardizing the barrel. It'd be nice if this costly experience persuaded them to try rent-a-wreck next time out that that's not how it normally goes.

On the other hand, I believe in justice. Folks can go right along doing the wrong thing for years but sooner or later it always catches up with them. The piper always gets paid, one way or another. :)

September 26, 2008 2:40 AM  

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